fairystales

thank God

2008-10-20T21:35:00.006+08:00

a sudden surge of positive energy sweeps me off my feet. inspired, hopeful and full of gratitude.

really must thank God, for seeing me thru the last few weeks when i was really down and my health ailing.. with prayerful meditation, regular and more sleep.. i feel more energised.

its all about perspective.. the outlook is now in a nice yellowish, pink orange glow. healthy i say. yesh, though the worries are still there.. and stress abound.. i now am facing it little by little.. knowing that feeling bummed out is no use, an utter waste of energy.. thus i might as well just digest what i can and give my all with His graciousness.

Yesh i'm rather calm now.. a far cry from what was happening.. must really thank my friends around me.. encouraging me on.

celebrated mel's and per's bdae.. too bad i wasn't feeling well on Friday.. but Saturday evening was a nice laid back evening.. ((: all my friend's bdaes cluster in the march-apr and oct-nov periods.. its weird but.. ar wells

okie i'm now trying to get back on track after 10 weeks of whirlwind mess.. i knoe its hard but i'm trying my best with God's help.. everything's possible. (:

okie back to muggin.. but just before that.. here's a few pics from saturday ((:

happy 20th gal!!!

3 best babeS! per me jas

slacking

2008-10-04T15:41:00.003+08:00

its a saturday. Saturdays are met for slacking. well at least that's my take on it is.. it feels like ages since i've been home.. so i'm quite happy being on my bed now.. yay! i don't think anyone can get me out unless they decide to see the sneaks of burn after reading..

my parents always ask how's exams. and i always answer okie when really it wasn't. i'm actually quite afriad bout the results but haix.
i've tonnes of work to do.. i've yet to fix my survey, do research and study econo

i'm currently watchin the reunion of australia's next top model.. it makes me feel childish and how some of them are so mature for a 20 yrs old..

went to kfc with some of the flaggers.. where we finally managed to dig some dirt on zhu.. lol.. that was fun..

i just got my new racket it sounds nice.. i can't wait to try it out.. its a pity i don't have badminton till friday.. okie i'm off to slack..

stuck in a daze

2008-10-01T16:32:00.004+08:00

i'm currently slightly sad,dazed,depressed... can't seem to start muggin for my calculus mid term for tmr. i almost know that i'm going to fail it. i need help i'm hardly surviving now.

all i want to do is to curl up in bed with a nice story book.. sleep in.. be detached.. unmoving.. unfeeling.. just for awhile.

i feel quite inapt now.. appalled by my incompetency.. wondering why i'm not taking charge of my life now... mostly i'm just floating.. i guess i get like this in bouts..

last weekend was kinda fun.. managed to hang out with quite a few babes.. esp jaz and per.. we kinda went drinking on friday night with samuel for jas'z kinda bdae celebration.. den on sunday we went to intercontinental for lunch at the jasmine room. Lunch was exquisite.. and Samuel was damn nice.. footing the bill and all.. he even planned a chalet for jas yesterday.. and stole per's and my no. to invite us over.. but sadly we couldn't attend.. all the same.. HAPPY 20TH JAZ!!!

den met up with wendy on saturday.. planned to study from lik 2 but ended meeting each other at lik 5.. and at 3 .. both of us were still sleeping.. which is quite hilarious.. but at least we did managed to mug a bit.. wells.. much more then i can say for me now..

i went for badminton trials yesterday in hall.. it felt really good to play badminton again.. but sadly my racket frame imploded-again. I'm really quite sad over its demise cos i really really really liked my racket. my dad was kind enough to bring me down to queensway just now to get another one. however, i didn't get the titanium series racket.. instead got the nanotech series. i'm actally not quite satisfied.. coz the titanium series is really really really much lighter.. however, due to its less dense material the chance of it imploding is very high. yeps. as my first titanium racket can testify.. (mag and i got the same racket in sec skool and both of ours imploded after sometime.. like 3 yrs?) my recent one also lasted me for bout 3 yrs. and i figured that my dad would probably not buy me anymore rackets any time soon as i'll probably stop playin badminton competitively after this round of ihg.. so i decided to invest(its bout 150 a racket.. so it bout 6 yrs.. i spent 450 on rackets.. which is kinda expensive.. or at least to me) in a more sturdy (well lets hope it is) racket. hence the heavier nanotech. wells at least its red? the colour is kinda nicer laa.. furthermore i got an all rounded "balanced" racket.. a far cry from my usual lighter defensive racket.. almost got another with a lighter head.. but i don't knoe felt that maybe i should try another type of racket. hopefully my smashes will get better.. and that means i've to train my reflexes more.. coz my previous 2 rackets are more defensive.. okie enough on rackets.. i hope trainings and the team this yr will be as fun as the last.. i don't mind more strenuous trainings.. just well i guess it boils down to time management again..

yesterday night was kinda fruitful.. or was it morning? lol.. slept after badminton trials.. only to wake up to soggy,awful and gross macdonalds supper with some of the flaggers (mac's standard is really dropping!) but the company was great.. so that helped tonnes! den i studied from 3 to lik 530? lol.. yeps.. kinda productive till bout the last 15 mins where i could hardly keep my eyes open.. and last night was so cold.. it rained for the WHOLE night.. but at least the weather is gorgeous today.. too bad not ideal for studying.. bleughs. it really feels like a public holiday. everything's quiet and laid back.. my mind's switched off.. and it refuses to be receptive to calculus.. bleughs..

going to miss some fun activities with s26 pple this week.. but hopefully the flagger outing this saturday to queensway (to collect my racket!) will be eventful and be my adrenaline rush.. and yesh zhu.. we can eat KFC.. lol.. and go ikea again..

its about time to start muggin.. should go soon.. just watched gossip girl and grey's--- tv series.. a form of escapism.. can't find heroes ): why did i take calculus again?! HAIX

its started to make me wonder

2008-09-23T21:39:00.018+08:00

i haven't felt this stressed in a long time.. which just proves one thing.. i haven't been studying. this startling fact hit me right in the face whilst trying to complete 1 chapt of macro-econs. it really sent shivers down to realise how lost i actually am.. bleughs.. my schedule for the week includes 2 full days of play and 1 consultation with a tutor. other den dat.. i'd better be mugging my head off..

okie.. decided to post some pictures.. sent caleb off .. another one of us going overseas to study.. in the mean time i met up with the weirdly acquainted bunch of babes.. lol.. and yay we are going for sushi buffet on friday.. i'm so looking forward for tmr and friday..

stop calling me bimbo!

ate korean bbq with s26 mates! and thanks to teck yong for the ride back from ecp! lol.. do you noe that there was another outlet at haw paw villa? lol.. and we ALL live in the West.. lol

this is my floor mates.. i've rather hyper jrs.. lol.. and they are a nice bunch ((:

btw this is my flaggers ((:

although this issn't complete
let me give you one where we are all together when we went to sentosa for filming..

this is one of my fav photos of me it was taken on that fateful sentosa day.. and yay! i'm in skool uniform.. lol .. i miss wearing uniform

this is us when we went to batam..

after i fell (on my face lol).. and got my deathly lips.. lol..

and met wendy there.. coincidentally.. ((:

don't ask.. we were suppose to be "kaka men" for the mario game..

scarily.. i got freaked out.. and thankfully didn't have to go through anything.. lol

begging for money laa... lol..

illegal immigrants.. lol
things we have to do for flag.. lol

the winnerS! YEAH!

3 buggers acting cool.. lol..

sorry i knoe that the pictures are kinda late and are not pasted properly.. but i've no time to correct it.. i need to go mug.. lol.. okie.. recapping the 3 mnths really brings back a smile.. i'm quite happy now.. not as stressed ((: yay!

stuck at gear 0

2008-08-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

i've become worrisome of late. stressful to say the least, but somehow i'm still stuck at gear 0. I'm drifting along, lost and bewildered by the bombardment of information required to be digested. i've been a daze, and worse than slow, undoing each lecture with details unsolved.

the only constant 2 things now is eating den sleeping, which appalls me greatly as homework piles up high. the fact that there is work is not as daunting compared to the realisation of i've not been understanding anything.

and yet i play, whilst my time away, with every other thing nonconstructive and insignificant. Its a wonder to find out what actually goes into my head, i would hardly disagree when one says nothing.

i'm still finding my north.. but hey at least if i'm heading south i'll still get there!

right. enough ranting, really gets me no where. moving on to other news..
congrats to zhu!!! she's choir pres! hee.. actually i feel a twinge of regret and guiltiness which i hope will come to pass.. cos i'm still trying very hard to see a bigger picture bleughs.

have i mention my modules this sem SUCkS?! apparently the easiest module i feel is macro which was the hardest last sem for most friends.. so if you stack up the difficulty levels i realised that this sem is worse than worse and have killed my cap not just once over but thrice.

let me explain.. when i currently go for my lectures.. there are only 2 lessons i understand macro and marketing. marketing has proj work.. and my group seems super laid back which issn't good when the class is super smu style.. math and econometrics are both taught in greek, the only consolation for econometrics is that i'm doing it with joy and mel. micro's in the woods and it tastes like saw dust.. and so i really don't know what i am suppose to look forward to.. ROARS!

btw i just spent 1/2 an hour on a math qns which i should known how to do.. but still don't! sighs.

its not that i want to be that phantom now.. but being that is the only way i know how to at least try to make myself study. make sense? i hope so to.

1st week of school

2008-08-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

the 1st week has been slightly crazy.. and it doesn't help when i'm perpetually tired.. my bio-clock is so wrong.. that any sane person shouldn't even be awake enough to blog now..

only will this bunch of flaggers sleep at 330 only to wake up at 7am to run from kr to commonwealth sec.. that's at least 8 clicks. ar wells its all in the name of getting healthy.

i'm currently rather sad. whether its because i'm just emo-ing, feeling lost when skool has started for only a week,that my time table is slightly loner-ish or the fact that i've no occasional doses of high-ness.. i've really no idea. All i know is that i feel sucky and its really no one's fault.. just that somehow everything's not under control and slightly irk-ed by the fact that i've not settled down by now.

that's partly the reason why i'm back home now. its a monday night. should be happily staying in hall laughing with my friends and watching the freshies perform star to burst but all that seems a bit trivial and not inline to my current don't-knoe-why-i'm-so-emo-y-mood. all the same i went for cass'z and jas'z bdae celebration at sushi tei just now.. catching up with my arts og is rather refreshing as well as sad.. to think that just a yr ago.. i was so much closer to them.. hall really sucks you out of it doesn't it?

there's ibg opening tmr.. hoorah.. and to think i stayed on to experience all these.. i've really no idea wad's going on.. lost in transition? i think so too.. maybe its the sudden realization that i'm getting old.. and haven't really done anything that significant. bahhhss

jaz just sent a your blood type personality reflection thing.. its somewhat accurate.. meaning that me, an AB+ person is somewhat awkward and a nervous driver.. lol.. quite enlightening..

been running a bit.. legs feel rather tired.. its surprising to find out that nothing can get me out of this lethargic mood that i am now.. maybe its the lack of QT..

i'm looking forward to wednesday, somehow jas and per never fails to perk me up while letting me wallow in my self inflicted misery.. heh

okies should go on to sleeping .. although i said i wanted to catch up with my studies.. what nonsense. sometimes i wonder how i ever get by in life.. i need to stop going out. i need to stop swearing. but mostly.. i think i need perspective.

the day after flag day

2008-08-06T10:14:00.002+08:00

WAT ARH!!! WOOSH! KR FLAG TEAM ROXXX!!!
haha.. we just spent the whole morning (frm 0200) counting money, so i'm rather shag now.. although still slightly high.. heh ((:

d-blk's having captain's ball now while dear little me sits quietly in her room.. supposedly resting.. haha.. the IRONY. should really get some shut eye before close bidding starts at 1.. if not gg..

kaiz.. i'll try to at least upload pictures of my flag team soon.. i actually want to do a ppt slide or sumthing of them coz they are all just so dear and amazingly cooperative that i'm sure i'm going to miss working with these bunch of guys. seriously the word to be noted here is WORKING. don't get me wrong we had tonnes and tonnes of fun! sometimes too much.. but our dynamics as a whole flag team rocks.. individual flaws often covered by others' strengths and we managed to understand and adapt to each other's working style with little more than questioning rather than bickering. its great! and they really helped to pull me thru the horrendously long boring hull of the mundaneness of the tasks. so 3 cheers for KR FLAG TEAM! YAY!

k.. last weekend was so shagger-fied.. was suppose to go to sentosa.. but the flaggers decided that rest was more impt.. so i managed to get some rest before i met andre and darrell to watch the mummy 3 ( IT SUCKS BIG TIME DON'T WATCH IT!) haha.. other den dat.. managed to catch up abit with darrell over shopping for groceries at clementi on sunday.. and then it was back to hall for me.. and tada here i am..

i seriously can't wait for this weekend.. just want to plonk myself down in bed to sleep and hibernate before skool starts on monday.. which i think is highly impossible.. bleuuuggghhhhsss.. my eye bags sucks!

okie.. shall stop toking now.. i've no idea why i'm in a slightly high mood.. when i should be drained.. i need to take better care of my face.. andddd haha now i can go back to regular meals.. and maybe eat less (i see the countless faces snickering away.. pafths)

okie i can't wait to meet up with perr and jas.. which i would probably do next weekday.. can't wait to get some badminton in too.. and oh ya! this friday's rag day! and bejing opening.. and lots of other stuff.. busy busy busy! need to plan my schedules better! TIME MANAGMENT! YEAH!

kk's lights out for 1 1/2 hour quick.. before i die of exhaustion.. and DYdY and wendy! i still haven't gone out with either of you! it must be the wendy and jelaine cannot meet syndrome.. lalalala.. (lameness courtesy of flag 08/09 HA! )

getting back to hall live

2008-07-24T19:02:00.002+08:00

i knew shifting back to hall would mean that my life will be devoid of all other friends.. but i'm getting a bit sad of it.like today, i can't go for Bible class or Dance class.. it somewhat irks me.

there's a whole bunch of you guys that i want to hang with before skool starts, but its almost impossible to happen, worse still its me who is mia-ing.

i finally managed to clean my room.. after i shifted it into my new arrangement twice.. really must thank zhu, xiao bai and wee wen for helping me in my anal quest of getting the perfect orientation and of course my whinning.

i've got to shift my stuff in later.. i've tonnes.. but yay! insung's giving me a fridge (:

my eyebags formation has started again. slept for lik 3 hrs for yesterday and today .. and i'm sure its only going to get worse.. i guess it might do me good for my weight.. heh.. but that's bout it.

k hope all of you aren't too pissed at me..

back to reality

2008-07-23T14:33:00.002+08:00

back from all my trips (:
kinda happy that i managed to squeeze these 3 holidays into july (: but my life now is going to get really busy with flag.. so sorry for my mia-ness again..
esp to jaz and per.. for hip-hop.. bahs

kaiz will update soon

just so you knoe wad's happening

2008-06-25T22:26:00.003+08:00

its been forever since i last blogged.
so apparent ehs? was thinking of closing the site down.. but i decided that i should give my friends an explaination for my recent MIA-ness..

i'm in my hall's orientation comm.. flag.. and its been taking up all my hols.. had to put it as first piority so.. pardon for the hard-to-reach-i'm-so-diva schedule thus far.

flag activities aren't really fun.. but the pple there are full of rubbish.. so it has been kind of fun.. ((: there are 2 pple from my comm who are fond of spreading stupid rumours.. and the rest of the comm are just zaney pple .. ((:

anyways.. this month of jul is actually no better.. i planned all my trips in when the oreintation committee has decided to crank it up to a notch.. lalala so sorry for my future MIA-ness :p

so let me tell you my activities for the coming month..
starting.. tmr (:

26/6 8am tennis
10am badminton
930pm possible reverse jumping trip @.@
27/6 10am harbour front! GOING TO BATAMMM!!! (flaggers + focers)
~ hoping to meet dydy there.. to catch up.. lol can't find the time in
29/6 spore so have to go there lalalla

30/6 (mon) mahjong session with sc babes at sf'z in the afternoon (YAY!)
1/7 flag
2/7 flag
3/7 nothing as of yet (to be confirmed tbc)
4/7 6am CCK GOING TO GENTING!!! S26 pple!
~ might be cabbing down to kl for shopping!
6/7

7/7 (mon) tbc
8/7 flag
9/7 sentosa with flag
10/7 breifing for soc
11/7 report at 830pm
12/7 (dy's bdae) soc
13/7 soc

14/7 (mon) tbc
15/7 tbc
16/7 tbc
17/7 6am Changi Airport! Bangkok trip!
~ WHOOO HOOO! technically going with my blk mates but my parents will b there
21/7 (mon) too

22/7 shift back into hall
23/7 flag
24/7 flag
25/7 flag
26/7 flag probably kg
27/7

28/8 (mon) FOC!
~
3/8

4/8 (mon) get ready for big dayyy!
5/8 FLAG DAY
6/8 flag
7/8 flag
8/8 RAG DAY
9/8 N'nal Day
10/8

11/8 (mon) welcome to YR2 .. NO MORE FRESHIE! bahss

yeps thus busy busy busy.. so please do try to squeeze me into some of your upcoming activities okie?! i can't find time to sleep! my eyebags are GROSS ):
kk lets see if i'm free enuff to keep updating this.. lol haha

happy birthday jel

2008-03-28T01:23:00.006+08:00

its been a long time since i've seen such a beautiful sunset. today, while walking home, the most wonderful blue painted the background of the sky, the reflection of the sun from the various clouds were dusted in shades of orange, pink and a little red. mixed with the purple of the on coming night and the last yellow rays of the sun, indeed it was a sight to behold. it reminded me the times wehre my mom brought me to west coast park... i remebered standing on the top of the slide where it was the top of the world, nothing else mattered.. gazing.. lost.. in its wonder.. how the sun sinks into the horizon of the sea and how it would never fail to come up again. it made me remember of the carefree years, and the little things that made me happy. i had the urge to run to the park. just to see the sun set finally, below the sea, but i stopped myself. for i knew it was not to be. No more are the simple joys of an old fashioned slide, no more of the untouched horizon of the sea. stupid psa. but its alright times change, places change, i changed. i want my childhood back ....

today's birthday was really nice.. managed to celebrate with alot of pple.. from my family,floor mates,joy.. and finally jaz and pearl ((:

i feel blessed to have so many friends who cared.. especially to everyone of you who chose to bring me a smile by wishing me a happy brithday.. (: it honestly feels like a stark contrast to what i felt last yr. so a big thank you.

ate jap food with my family .. sukiyaki and tepanyaki.. ate like a pig.. and i'm glad to get more jap food with pearl and jaz who treated me! yay! we cam whore or (hored? lol)with her new camera. and checked out the hip hop classes ((:

yeng cindy and francine walked all the way out to fong seng to buy a cupcake (:
da kor got me the rum and cherry cake against my wishes for a banana choc.. thanks anyways.. daddy paid for dinner..is going to pay for clothes and still gives me money. thanks.
jas and per gave me a brown handbag and the retardedly cute coin mouth eater which is pink.. kills you guys. and mr anonymous will still remain anonymous.
thanks joy for breakfast.. for covering for this blur toot who walked out w/o paying and only realising it 1/2 hr later.. bahhss.. breakfast was too early lol.
thanks to pple like mommy and charrisa (who conveniently forgot to put her name) who msg me all the way from down under..
thanks to pple like gloria and orph who posted on facebook (but i've not checked.. saw the email..)
and thanks to the countless of pple.. like caleb joshua lysa mel sheryl, to m chaing, zy, serene, to angeline, andrew, to christina andre darrell mich, to wen tng liling pei yuling, to cheryl pok dydy yiting sheila zhi kai to andy nus sherlyn janice cassandra crystal, to andy couz to my family.. thank you ((:

now all i need is my high up place from which i can see the sea, to the sun that rises and den sets, to remember the magnificent hands that made it, and that nothing in this world will remind unchanged. thank you ((:

sunday dinner wad?

2008-03-23T22:23:00.003+08:00

stubbornness, arrogance, resentfulness, critical, unforgiving, grudgingly, ignorance, un-respectable, irresponsible.
escapism, vices, drunk.
what happened to all the love? i should have known better..

lazy sat

2008-03-22T15:15:00.002+08:00

i'm much better today (:
cooked mushroom soup.. mmm MMM! yeah. made a little mistake here and there.. lik how i ended up cooking 1 whole pot of it due to my bad sense of proportion lol. yeps but it tasted kinda nice ! yeah.. and yesh perr its just a modification of momo's reciepe.. so you should try it too (:

got really jealous coz my da kor tried on my shoes (yesh my feet are as big as his) and he looked better in them than i do ! puu-eei.. haha all the more i need to start running lots.

kaiz haven't started studying for today and still need to pack my room. just wanted to say that lunch was nice today YaY! and i'm glad i stayed home. *hugs

good friday ponned

2008-03-22T03:37:00.002+08:00

i've been a bad christian lately. haix.
so hi pple.. haven't really be here in a bit. my depressing mood is still hanging around, although i think its gotten a little better.
the couple of weeks ahead should be tonnes of fun.. but i still feel a little reserved. Lately, i have been slightly anti-social in hall, which in all truth should not be the case.
Caught up with dy dy today, its amazing how similar we are.. lol.. from our specs, to our shirts to our lame fathers. went down to our favourite haunt to mug a little, i only managed one chapter of reading. bahs. but its currently too late to continue..

got my new specs today.. went down to queensway to get my asics.. although they are really comfortable, they kinda are a bit ugly. ar wells..

the qns of the week is: am i too hard to please? in all honesty i think maybe its kinda true.

anyways, i think i'm goin to get crocs just coz they are really comfortable, kinda sad at the sorry state my feet are in now.. haven't been treating them with care..

these 2 weeks have kinda be stressful with test and projects due, kinda put on weight due to my bad habit of emotional eating.. arghs. thus the shoes.. lol..

just realised i've another mountain of work to do, i forgot i hid it behind the stormy clouds. den just beyond that is the tossing sea of final exams.. lalala.. mugger toad mugger toad.. i need to become a mugger toad..

k its pretty late, should try harder to keep my eyebags a bay.. but considering i sleep at around 230 everyday.. i shouldn't be in such a bad shape..

sometimes you are tired and you just want someone to be there. to hold you and say things that you know will help you through. to speak the thoughts you are too tired to utter. to understand the silence which resonates with your feelings.to tug at the corners and bring a little smile. to uncloud the misty picture and colouring the blanks. i'm hoping that day will come soon,so that i can be that person for you too.

hurt

2008-03-12T20:51:00.004+08:00

I know that i'm a plaster,
but do you know that you're a knife?
stabbing, slicing, carving out
the little issues of life.

You see i'm only one plaster,
but you are just one knife
but scratching the same old wound again
would prove my usage useless

I try to step beyond
to see things a little further.
i really cannot understand
how you expect me to fit in.

I'm no longer in a bubble,
yes you made that very clear
but it really doesn't help
when there is a double standard

You've made the other bandages
all rot away
they can never help you out again
to repair the damage done

Now the rotten bandages
are turning into sharpen knives too
what am i suppose to do?
remain a plaster too?

the inevitable is happening
and yet you don't understand
the critisms affect the never healing wound.

you expect me to be the glue
but i don't know how to be that too
the pieces of the picture
has broken to unfittable edges.

the more i step away
the more i see it too
the endless abyss
forming right under my shoe.

Do you think I can't be affected?
Do you think I can remain neutral?
Do you know i'm no longer bright and cheery
but just as gloomy too?

I'm turning into a knife
no, i cannot be objective
Yes maybe it was a defect to begin with
but why continue to harp on it?

The wound too is not trying,
so easily infected,
but who would bother to even care
about a rotten piece of flesh?

My heart is all but dry.
I never knew it would hurt.
I never knew i cared so much
resigned to be aloof.

I don't know how to help.
I can't repair myslef.
How do you presume
I'm going to repair the others?

Is this what we have become?
So astrange to each other?
not caring, not bothering
destined to be apart.

mid sem break for sem 2

2008-02-25T19:19:00.004+08:00

mid sem break is HERE! honestly NUS is the epitome of the Singapore education system. WHAT BREAK? I know i should be thankful, at least they gave me one week of undeserved time to prep for 4 mid terms and 1 paper. Especially now since i fall under the category of "hall stayers" who evidently never have enough time for themselves! :P

'aight. truthfully the whole of last week was waiting for the arrival of friday ((: went down to sheryl's house to celebrate her's and caleb's bdae! YIPEE! nothing too fancy.. just the 2 birthday peeps (who share the same bdae) their respective partners.. lol.. andrew and lysa.. and den you have the lonely singles comprising of melissa and myself. heh. joshua and gideon came over for awhile as we ate bbq korean style dinner and watched movies and taboo-ed the night away. it was really good.. so laid back and relaxing. we finally slept at 4 sumthing.. and i wanted to leave at 8 plus but dat didn't work.. haha..

the 2 birthday peeps proved themselves to be great cooks and made a scrumptious spread of breakfast for us.. *SO SWEETT! lol.. yeps i ended up playing another round of taboo and watching gossip girls (jas do you watch it?!) before i finally left sheryl's place at bout 12. -.- whole morning gone.

thankfully.. i pre-ampted my slackny-ness and made early reservations to mug with darrell at macs before meeting up with andre to catch up for dinner ((: whee.. i was really drowsy at macs.. and would for sure be sleeping if i didn't go out. lol..

poor andre.. had to book in so early.. (he lost alot of weight!) i don't think we will be watching jumper too..

anyways prior to that.. i had a fit of shopping rage and spent $220 on clothes within 1 1/2 hrs. @.@ long story for that wednesday.. with the painful ba kuh teh event.. lol.. but ya.. ended up buying skool clothes! yipee! yeps.. one skirt, one dress, one pair of shorts, one cropped jacket, and 5 tops.. all at vivo from a place called niche, save the shorts from op.. don't worry i think the sales staffs tot i was crazy.. and yesh i agree i was a little psycotic shopping alone.. lol

anyways.. decided to shift back home for the week.. coz i tot it might be more productive to study at home.. since i wouldn't need to do any house work here.. lol.. not to mention i'm having my period now.. and its highly inconvenient to stay in hall for dat.. but no worries.. i won't leave my room to rot.. there'z night cycling on wednesday! *there goes thursday.. honestly which part of NEED TO STARDY for mid sems do they not get? lol.. haha but its alrite.. that's why i'm trying to chiong now.. grrr..

but it has not really be productive.. got bitten by a sleeping monster.. felt so drowsy from 3-7 kept sleeping for bout an hour each time.. waking up with 15 mins intervals coz i felt so guilty for not studying.. but still ended up sleeping.. lol

oh no.. i feel REALLY OLD! i knoe.. i'm only turning 20 this year.. but its a freaking big 2! its hidious its awful its dangerously close to 3!!! haha.. furthermore most of my closes friends are graduating from poly! what does that mean? working world!!!! NO!!!!! responsibilities beyond the naive-ness of students.. haixx.. hope you guys come into uni with me and can delay this frightening transition.. lol..

okie its time to get back to work.. i've only partially fruitful thus far.. haven't done anything else but my sea paper.. QuICK! i need someone to help me vet my paper!
btw i love suddenly i see from the movie the devil wears prada.. if anyone has it please send me!

JUNO!!

2008-02-17T00:03:00.006+08:00

its almost mid sem and i've yet to start muggin. indeed hall life kinda sucks time away from you. but that's the price for freedom and i'm still enjoying, although the mundaness of housework does leave a sour taste when not done properly. sure its been a growing experience, and still no time management has been implemented which kinda sucks.

i got hurt today with a convo with one of my dear friends. it makes me feel belittled that some sacrifices are not deemed as much even if it is dear to me. why aren't you willing to see it? lately its been tiring to be all cheery around you.

i went to watch juno with darrell yesterday.. and really its a brilliant show. i love the song anyone else but you.. esp the first line.. "you're a part time lover and a full time friend" i'm sure perr will appreciate this line "up up down down left right left right B A start, just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart" haha.. i love that song.. its warm and charming. ironic ehs on teenage pregnancy.

can't wait to watch leap years. craps.. wad's wrong with me and romantic comedies.. watched ps i love you too.. haha it spoils the market for guys la.. lol..

i've the itch to buy cds again.. and as you can imagine one of them is the juno soundtrack.. feel lik buying ashley simpsons just coz i'm a little angsty.. starting to throw words lik bloody pissed f*ck around.. not good..

sent jo-ann off on valentine's day.. i'm proud of driving all the way down to changi airport although.. halfway through i realised it was quite idiot/bimbo prove coz its just one long express way.. ate popeye at t3 which looks seriously more lik a prestigious shopping centre den an airport. and you wonder where all the gov spending goes too.. but anyways.. i would have much rather have spent it with a special someone..lol

stayed up late again.. this time steamboat supper with kr badminton they kinda are a funny bunch. the guys team is made out of a grand total of 2 singaporeans with many other malaysians.. lol. it was really funny/scary/shocking to hear bout their stories.. which really reflects how priviledge we singaporean kids are. we take a simple thing such as our own saftey forgranted.. its really amazing how ignorant we are.. and we were toking bout corruption.. and how it is actually legalised corruption.

i'm currently behind in alot of my work really need to catch up. my bros and i pissed my mom way off by sleepin in today when we were suppose to go visiting.. some randomness but how issit possible that i'm hearing fireworks? i'm at home! i noe there'z chingay.. but even so..

because of this (supposedly visiting relatives) kinda pangsehed s26 pple esp andre and darrell.. which made me really guilty.. but i couldn't not go for dinner..

just watched the final episode of amazing race asia.. i always tot the team with the disabled bro was good.. and seriously they won the whole damn thing.. and i didn't realised that they were from singapore until this episode.. lol.. but its so apt that they managed to come in first at the final pit stop in SINGAPORE! yay.. haha i was quite upset with the amazing race when the chinese team didn't win.. tok bout racist/countrist? lol..

i miss toking to some pple.. esp my sc friends. i don't know why but i feel my perspectives are off again. blimely. i guess i'm pms-ing.

happy chinese new year eVE!

2008-02-06T18:08:00.000+08:00

Woahs this few weeks have really flown by. Yeps. I’m finally staying in Kent Ridge Hall. Its kinda fun.. especially my floor.. they are filled with really crazy friendly people. Seriously you can’t study at night with the floor screaming half the night away. Its pretty fun but bad for you health. Haha.

Okie i recently caught the moive The Guardian. Its actually an old movie by Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher and you know what its pretty good. I caught it twice on Star World and cried twice.. oopss.. haha and the lyrics to the ending song is really quite inspirational. It really makes you think bout these heroic people saving other people’s life. Too bad the show wasn’t a hit.. i think that they actually expected it to be.. but somehow that didn’t turn out to be case. This show made me realise how cute ashton really is.. lol and i so prefer him here rather den in that 70s show and punk’ed.. lol.. Kevin costner’s a good actor too..

Ohsss more celebritiy news in works.. is bout heath ledger.. its a pity ehs.. young holloywood and their screwed lives. Acting’s scary if you can’t switch off. But sometimes i wonder really whether most people in real life just acting anyways? As you continue i countinue in society is harder not to act. Wells at least sometimes.

k.. hall life is really hectic..i’ve not been getting enough sleep to the point that i’m dead tired half of the time.. oh yay life is happening again.. i wished it.. ohs didn’t get into SEP though... sad..

ohs celebrated wendy’s birthday on sat.. that’s why had to pangseh the pioneer shuttlers.. haha we took really long to warm up to each other.. but it was okiel.. really laid back no pressure kinda gatherings.. i LIKE! Lol.. i want the pictures wendy!!! Kk goin to sleep now.. probably will post this some other time too..

right now i'm still in hall .. suppose to be studying but that kinda didn't happen.. okie i'll post the guardian song and i need to run back home.. reunion dinner awaits ((:

didn't managed to get my dress.. but ar wells! need to lose weight this cny @.@ i gained weight in hall blahss..
Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need, but take less than you give?
Could you close every day, without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high, when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Can you lose everything, you ever had planned?
Can you sit down again, and play another hand?
Could you risk everything, for the chance of being alone?
Under pressure find the grace, or would you come undone?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say?

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Never let go, Never let go, Never let go

Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, 'but you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Never let go, Never let go, Never let go

shiting room

2008-01-20T22:59:00.001+08:00

this week has been hectic. got an email stating that if i was still interested in hall i should move in asap. which i did. so hi from tmr onwards i'll be living in kent ridge.

today was bad. really bad. didn't go church. ihg officials screwed up and i messed up, for the whole point today's disaster made a lot of sense. thus "Thou shalt keep thy Sabbath day holy" is indeed a commandment to be kept. I knoe. i shouldn't put the blame on excuses but today was a new low. and i guess it really made me think bout where my piorities lie. so as this week comes to a close i don't feel to happy nor excited bout my shifting.

i'm worrying quite a bit. like whether i can fit in. whether i'll enjoy myself and all that.. and whether its even right for me to go.i guess the experience will be enlightening and there's really nothing i can do now since i've already jumped in. i won't say i'm depressed just a bit queasy.

today while my dad was toking i realised again why i still respect him. he really knows alot of things. he is a strong headed stubborn person but yet he is aware and understand his surroundings. i on the other hand bounce along hoping everything is fine. i really should be more observant and analytical over issues. freaking real and related issues.

today feels like a wake up call. the holiday mood which dazzled everything in shinning glittering accents just vanished with the most absolute final hammer of the sudden realisation that its morning and life is about the race again. so hi world. i'm up with 2 eyes wide open.

got a little susprise from yesterday. and must shout a big Thank you! but upon reflection i realise that i should have been more grateful and watch i say. yeps. okie i really need to go mug and like pack my bags i've still got a ton of things to bring to hall. i need to decorate my room!

churchy

2008-01-12T22:07:00.000+08:00

this week really has been very church-y.. i went for night class on mon, bball with church peeps on wed, night class on thur, yf today, and church tmr. wow seriously that's record breaking. i don't knoe if i should join fcm, i don't feel like it which shouldn't be the case but i realised again today why i'm so distance from them. its really not their fault, but seriously we just ended up with small talk. and that's not ... fulfilling i guess. but its not their fault i knoe that it was becuase i started distancing myself if the beginning ar wells. i'll figure out sumthing.

today yiting PANG SEH me.. haha.. was suupose to go down to the gym with her.. but she didn't wake up on time! lol. i ended up goin to the gym with my dad this morning. and den had breakfast and came home to sleep, had lunch and slept again.. den i went for yf.. lol.. i felt so guilty i went to the gym again just now.. lol.. but seriously i've been to the gym 3 times in the last 4 days and i think working out doesn't exactly help alot when it comes to the scale. haha i guess it tones your muscles but really i think eating less works much better. but knowing me, i can't resist food so lallala.. have been binging alot lately.

went out with dy the on tuesday at jp and ate a foot long sub! and we had ice cream after .. haha i knoe you guys are like OMG how can jelaine eat so much? wells technically when it comes to subway YESH! lol... haha.. thursday i had supper with s26 pple and friday i was binging out at my friend's house too.. lol.. friday was kinda fun went down all the way to pasir ris to play mah jong with my nus og.. haha.. which i'm terribly noob at and lost lik 8 bucks? lol.. yeahh andy had wii toO! haha and super mario whee is SO CUTE! lol.. yeahh i knoe horribly bimbotic but seriously its way cute. andy said that there was zelda in wii edition too! OHHH!!! i want to play it if he gets it! haha.. i decided to leave pasir ris to catch american ganster with darrell.. that show is good.. haha i didn't realised it was m18 though.. haha until i saw nudity and i was likeee.. wait is this m18? haha.. oops slow..

recently i've been catching romantic princess translation gong zhu xiao mei.. its goin to air on channel U soon.. lol. haha if you guys didn't noe its because wu zun is in it! :DD haha i must admit his acting skills are close to 0 but seriously he is too cute and thus is forgiven. but yeah i think he should just stick being a model or sumthing lol.. angela is still pretty but she'z really thin.. to the point that its scary lol.. and i think she can act unlike her co-star. ar wells who cares about taiwan idols anyway rite? real life is far from theirs.. *i see dy throwing her shoes at me over her hubby...

k skool is starting on monday. i need to pack my table again.. ohs i bought another pair of new shoes with daddy.. they weren't really the ones i wanted but i guess it close enough.. k. i missing my sc peeps. but i don't think i can meet up with them anytime soon.. ciaoz pple hope this week was fun for you guys too!

1st week!

2008-01-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

this week has been kinda great! i guess its quite and an all rounded week.. but hmms i need to start quitening down. i went out lots and bought alot of shoes! whee! i still want one more pair though.. hee:D i'm done with my first day of cny clothes too! haha i kinda need to get some skool clothes and i'll be done!

spiritually i've been keepin up to date.. which reminds me i've not done qt in bout 2 days.. should really get to it tonight. haven't found a new devotion though.

ohs i was being a good lil' friend on thursday.. i let taitai dydy drag me around the WHOLE day from centrepoint to plaza sing to wisma/taka to bugis in search for her coverted white-sundress for her photo shoot.. lol.. i should have known better la.. but it was really great catching up with her..((: and den on friday evening it was my turn to drag darrell from plaza sing to city hall in search of presents but hey i finished in 2 hrs k.. lol unlike wendy for at least.. 9 hrs! and being a much coverted good friend i'm lettin her drag me around again to find accessoires for her next photo shoot.. quick THANK ME MORE! lol.. and i resent the fact you think your intelligence drops a noch when you are with me! haha...

in between all this.. was the highly irritating event of cors bidding for mods next sem. THank God i got all my mods already so i really don't need to worry a thing for the next week but i was stressing out for a couple of days.. its very routine.. so when bidding comes around prepare to ignore me lol..

den on sat we had our badminton gathering at delia's house! it was WAY FUN! haha forgot how silly and stupid we could be together! i miss the good ole days with those pple. and even though i don't lik organising much anymore i'm really glad that most of the pple i contacted came down((: as usual ZHI KANG was being retarded.. the jrs bullied me and dydy proved to be the ever green bimbo taitai.. haha! really lots of good memories.

our dearest joanne wanted to get drunk and wasted yesterday coz i had the car.. it was really funny and entertaining.. she kept callin me julian haha.. and all that.. she'z was really loud and i'm sure all of us were more amused than irritated at her highness lol.. she didn't managed to get wasted.. wells not totally though.. cos there wasn't enough booze and pple lik wendy and i had to go home.. (its insane i tell you! even with a car i'm suppose to go home earlY! seesh!)don't worry people i'm responsible! i don't drink and drive.. zhi kai drove too.. and i can't say i'm not jealous over his merz haha.. but its alright.. i didn't managed to get all the photos yet.. i'll try to up load some now though..

today we went over to my aunts place.. and she has the most friendly dog i've seen thus far.. he'z called cookie and the scene is really cute when my young nieces and newphews plays with it.. haha yeahh i wished i had a dog.

hmm i still want to buy somethings maybe i'll find pic or put links here so if you guys are bored you can check it out..

i had a nice long tok with pearl just now.. i'm really happy for her.. although she'z actually going thru a lil bit of a rough/stressful time.. i admire her coz she's unknowingly actually in control with her life. knows what she wants and cares alot for the people around. its hard to find sensible people like that nowadays.. much less people our age like that. yeps its nice to see friends grow/change for the better don't you think ((:

okie i need to go bathe soon.. haha but i doubt i'll be sleeping early.. haixx that's bad.. i'm loving my life now. i really should be more open and be in the moment ((: i'm starting to make stuff and try to be creative.. trying to follow in the footsteps of sheryl.. somehow lately i feel grounded and bless. i guess that friends around also have played a large role in it. so thank you for the good times!

happy new year's day!

2008-01-01T15:03:00.000+08:00

today feels like a lazy saturday! ((: didn't get up till lik 1 but it still felt like it was in the morning. today's totally down time. so how was everyone's new year's eve? fine i hope!

i realised that this is at least my 2nd year in the row which i've not been spending time with church pple over the new year. I think it may be my 3rd but its alrite. I've been hanging with the andre and darrell alot lately. no idea why! haha.. maybe its coz both of them had lik 2 weeks off yeps. if anyone is still wondering they are still as naive as ever. yeps. been pubbing with them alot lately too.. and we found that sitting at the river side at clark quay is really nice ((:

last night we went back there with hazel.. and managed to catch half of the fireworks at the esplanarde. HAPPY. fireworks make me HAPPY! ((: darrell was spas enough to order a voldka martini.. ar wells

got a lil' high toking to hazel at the river-side hee :D but that's is always fun. Don't worry guys i knoe when to stop. i don't believe in gettin wasted. its just lame. but ANDRE wanted to go home cos he was tired. I was really REALLY sad. haha.. and i whineeeeeeeeeeddddddd all the way home. lik come on new yr's eve is the only day i get to stay out and won't get breathed down upon. but ar wells we went back and i didn't sleep till almost 330. which reminds me my bio clock is screwed. i need to try to get it back soon!

okie i'm soo slacking today.. just typing in bed. its a perfect day to snuggle up in bed. but i've no idea why i've a migrian which is eating my right side of the brain.

went over to liling's chalet for her bdae the other day and now i have a majong itch! anybody who wants to play mahjong call me! haha but beware i'm rather noob!:P

yeps have the next few days kinda planned out.. which includes tonnes of shopping..

worrysome --- resolutions

2007-12-31T00:20:00.000+08:00

its been ages since i'm here but since the year is coming to a close, ain't it quint that everyone starts making resolutions? yeps. i'm no exception. its silly i noe.. but i guess one thing good bout making resolutions online is that you can easily go back to find what you actually put up.

hence now its a time of reflection.. i went back to my old blog.. looking at the my posts and ultimately my this year's resolutions. it made me kinda realise that i've been kind of going no where.

you see i kinda already made new resolutions and comparing them makes me realise how much i've actually grown or not grown.

welcome to 2007 resolution anaylsis 101

i don't really think i've stopped procrastinating.. but i think i've found a way to help myself cope.. setting datelines and being more proactive to find out datelines is really impt

i said i wanted to improve my handwritting that really didn't happen. and i said i'd lose weight.. wellss on a good weeks i can get myself down to 64 but usually i revert back to my 66 norm and go up to 68 when i start to binge. these are actually quite trivile resolutions don't you think? haha

wells i must say that when i said i wanted to be more cautious bout the things i say i really did managed to do that.. but its really stifling but i knoe its a good practise to keep.. i guess i just have to remember not be so sharp when i tok to some pple.. i tend to easliy put people down although i don't really mean it.. hmm

being more deteremined. that's very nice and proper dear. but i realised determined in what? total lack of direction and hence i think this year was quite unfriutful.

furthermore over the course of the year i got stuck in the rut of "how to walk in between" i realised that i still don't know how to figure that out. sometimes i despise goin to church and sumtimes i feel guilty for not. i don't i really think i've come to a conclusion. i've said that i want to be more extroverted and that i want to go for yf more but seriously during the crunch time.. i don't want to be more Godly, although i knoe i should want it. i figured its really not the pple pullin me back. so i've decided to find a better devotion plan which i hope will help.

in restrospect this year to me kinda sucked. i never did actually enjoyed it. my outlook was mainly cloudy and i couldn't find the sunshine.i'm still missing my special someone and didn't realise that i kinda stressed out alot.

wells i think its okie that i was like that. times change. so i can change. i won't say i will be optimistic but rather more neutral and light. be willing to let the wind take me for a ride through the ups and downs. not be so clammed up. but strive to be at peace. be a better person which may translate to being a better friend.

okie enough of the serious tok.
here's some updates that if you don't already knoe should really knoe.
1) i got into an accident i gave up defending myself
2) all of a sudden i'm into moisturisers esp from loccitane which i've no idea how to spell
3) i like close heels and think they are pretty but honestly they'll just give me blisters and i don't know why
4) in the midst of still revamping my wardrobe which means i've 2 more weeks to get new clothes for skool/cny hee
5)didn't get into hall cos i didn't apply online.. sorry for the trouble to all my friends for the recommendation
6)didn't join odac because i didn't find out what they were doin
7)stop giving me things to display for my present i really dont know what to do with them
8)still need to pack my room again
9)want to get another notebook although i've a organiser already
10) didn't get my potter books coz i can't find them(don't knoe if i still want them)
11) still haven't got a camera coz hmm yeah. i need to start to like to cam whore
12) no idea why there'z so many ants on my table when i don't even eat on my table
13) got 3.5 for sem 1 disappointed coz i wanted a 4.0 but happy to get my econs results and screw theater studies
14)will try to update this blog more without pointless rants ((:

panic attacks

2007-11-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

shit. i seriously don't know wad i'm doing now. exams are less than a month away and yet i can't even get myself to study.. what's more i'm not some wonder kid who can easily absorb and score As. so why am i freaking procrastinating.
i've no idea why i haven't sent my application to kr hall yet.. cold feet?
feb intake application closes end of nov. but that's when finals start. shit. i really don't know if i really want to go.
i can almost predict that i'm just going to swim blindly in econs here.. but wouldn't it be the same there. SHIT.shit. shit..
life's a shithole don't you think?
-panic attacks. how cool is that?

what am i doing?

2007-10-07T20:50:00.000+08:00

is it not for life that we are living for?
when did mundaneness become so insecure?
to what have i seen and welcome the meaning?
was it ever the way of imitating the ideal?

implicitly sought thus rendered none.
change influence all to exist.
logic became knowledge but fools for the wise.
fluid affection lost stored.

depression comes in bouts reasons unknown,
nothing affects but effects astound,
honouring nothing to be what cometh
breathe simply fuels pain

the smiles brought bring back the norm
found itself through deserted corners
over again don't go just stay
denial.

this week has been stressful. the next will be even more so. so exhilirating! yesterday we andre, hazel and darrell and i watched resident evil 3. didn't watch 2 but caught the last part when i came home. i forgot how scary and grusome it was. lik really. i didn't help my stress levels at all. but it was kinda my fault for not wanting to watch balls of fury. but seriously it was just shit scary. zombies. are horrible. disgustingly horrible. the fear for them with baseless rationale for their existence do not materialise in our world. but still horrible. i can't remember why i remembered loving the show to begin with..i can only remember that 3 girls watched it together once when we turned 16. yesh i think u knoe who you are. vampires are much better even though they too are the living dead. i'm guessing cos they are simply portrayed as creatures who have a mind, a heart though cold still has passion which is alot better den zombies. i had difficulties falling asleep.. i jumped in my seat like more then 3 times.. and all the others, save hazel(for she was the same as me), could do was to be amused over horribly frightened me. damn its freaky! stupid zombie mob. stupid stupid zombie-fied crows.. i hated the ending, cos it depicted that mere humans weren't spared and that you need to be a freak to have a surviving chance or a cure rarhh no closure.. i'm still wondering why i agreed to resident evil 3. roarh!

6th week

2007-09-17T02:42:00.000+08:00

can you believe it i'm still up trying to mug at this hour when i've skool tmr. craziness. i knoe believe you me its all thanks to my intrigued sense of time management. ((:

This weekend has been crazily busy. For circumstances of unknown origin. Things like emotional break downs to last min celebrations and almost resentful reports due it really has been quite hectic.

Let's start with blissful corn soup with the rotting thumb mistress. Thousand and one thanks for having me there. I think i'll cook it again this coming weekend.. just so its lik forever inprinted in my memory. Realised that i've a) no eye-hand condination wadsoever and b) i'm seriously not musically incline.heh. was playing this retard game gould parapika or sumthing.. highly amusing.. haha.. and can you believe that i died lik 3 times in a row trying to play the powerpuff girls game? yesh the joys of not being a game freak. And you wonder why i failed grd 7 & 8.. heh

Which brings us to the maker--Momo.. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.. becos today is not yesterday although today is still tonight to me. lol. yehs.. she left just now off to the land where animes rule. went to her house at lik 12mn to celebrate with peiyi her bf and wendy.. just coz we wanted to susprise her.. i on the other hand ended up sitting at queensway bus stop for 1.5 hrs.. coz mac at queensway is not 24 hrs. not even on friday and sat. so to all those out there beware.

Left for home and mug til 330. promised myself that i would sleep by 12 today. and as apparent as it can be i'm not asleep. Wendy came over to mug. kinda fruitless.. we both agreed.. found out i get rather sleepy from 2-5 but my concentration power ups for 6-8.. a very small opening.. heh.

I've been gorging food down the past 2 days. like seriously. first corn soup and today wadeva paraphinalia i could find in the house.. from cereal to fruits to chocolates to cheese. you kinda get the drift heh. the only time i wasn't eating was when i was sleeping. so u can really imagine. yep was craving durian.. and my da kor bought durain mooncake! yummy! heh.. he ordered some strawberry yogurt mooncakes too.. can't wait to try hee..

okie.. i need to go off to... no not sleep. mug. Life is sad ain't it. GRR.. tutorials haven't really started. Its so stupid i'm spending most of my time on econs and its still taking eons.

okie i really want to go shoppin.. lik i want to get a bag.. tops.. double eyelid sticker(or wadeva its called lol) shoes.. and random things that make me happy! recess week is coming up but its really for you to mug. lik seriously.

aniwaes to you.. thanks for being there although you didn't need to be. thinking back we both knew and yet we still knoe. i guess what we have will never be.
-just coz i noe you won't read this.

re-evaluation 101

2007-09-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

I guess friends really do make a difference.

stardyfark

2007-09-11T14:42:00.000+08:00

I'm sure those who caught one tree hill will find the strip on top familiar. I chose it out of the lack of availability of other nice skins.
Father's been pissing me off lately. Wanted to head down to macs at 1130 only to get scolded for wanting to leave home so late. lik okie. i had other work to do online.
being childish and rebellious i've not study since. I knoe i should. but wells. I'm Angst-y again.

I wanna watch ratatouille.
Can't wait to make corn soup.

bourne ultimatum

2007-09-08T13:11:00.000+08:00

whoever said that it gets easier after A levels is totally wrong. Life is full of readings. Endless readings. Incomprehenable readings. It gets no better when you realise that university courses are 8 times faster than jc. Which makes you wonder who was the idiot who said you'll have fun in uni. -.-

Anyways i watched bourne ultimatum yesterday nite with andre darrell and hazel.. and thanks to andre we were at the first row dying of you're neck is goin to drop off sydrome.

but i'm currently bored now. Tonnes of work but no mood to mug. And life is currently struggling between obligations and wants now. STUPID.

looking for a new blogskin

2007-08-28T13:47:00.000+08:00

i really wanted to change my blogskin.. and apparently its harder than it is.. I can't find a nice colourful one without lollipops!

Okie i've nothing against lollipops.. well not really.. but just that sometimes don't you wonder that those BIG COLOURFUL ones can be really intimidating? lik they are so big and attractive and all it really does is to scream "BUY ME! EAT ME!" but you know full well that it's so humongous and the possibility of you finishing it in one continuous licking is impossible? And so those wonderfully made lollipops seem to turn into this sinister candy which mocks the unaccomplished task at hand if you ever tried. okie i noe i'm weird. @.@ heh

but its okie .. i wanted to get a more extroverted skin.. which alludes me today.. rarh. and truth be told i've wasted too much time online finishing season 2 of bones and looking for my skin.. i've not started studying! paffths.

there'z netball in skool later (yeah.. no skool today.. yipee!) maybe i'll run there to nus to play.

anyways there goes my bourne ultimatum.. looks lik i'll have to wait for the dvd to rent it.

stupid bleach doesn't want to upload itself.. heh.
i can't wait for all the new season of things to arrive! hee.. all after the awards season.

cheerios

week 2

2007-08-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

Apparently school for me is no fun.
Nothing much happening except for maybe being currently annoyed by how easily stressed I get.
I have got my birks and my crumpler by the way. Tools attempted to lift my mood.
Does anyone else feel amazed and thrill by fireworks? Have been catching a few shows.
Classes.
I got the tutorial classes I want. Thank God.
Wasted most of my sleep on Bones.
I still want to catch bourne ultimatum and hairspray. Highly unlikely judging by the amount of work I have.

Econs expo mod suxx. I don't understand and no one else has the slightest clue.
Econs/SS so far has been entertaining.
Theater Studies though intriguing might prove to be a hard challenge.
Food Security. Hopelessly dull but I'm hoping its muggable.
Physics in everyday life, has surprisingly been the most exhilarating.

Now. All I have to do is to find out what am I suppose to study for the exams. It alludes all of us.

Phy by far has been well entertaining. The lect brought liquid nitrogen into class. way cool. dip rubber bands into it and watch them being broken lik glass pieces. i.e become brittle. Lecturer has stress the need to articulate our findings properly. Like how looking at liquid nitrogen is not "chez,nothing" but rather "its just a colourless liquid which looks like water with an exception of white fumes spilling over". WOW. lookie here. a science class teaching the value of expressions.

Phy has constantly been ending in 45 mins although the given timeslot is 2 hrs. LALA. which just means he is really teaching less and we have to learn more. affhh..

Joined pilates. Its boring. with breathing techniques and ankle breaking position i doubt i'll actually lose weight.

Which remains me i took a month to lose 4 kg and managed to put back 2 in a week. Now that's irritating.

I've not acquired the skill of learning econs yet which troubles me highly.
Toodles to the social life i once had.

my new lappy!!!

2007-08-04T16:07:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! Guess how i'm blogging this? HEE!!! i got my new laptop! yay! actually i got it back on wednesday..but i didn't officially prepared it till now..YAY! haha and can you guess where in the house i am noW? heh..the TOILET!! lol.. i just wanted to see whether i could like use my lappy while i'm bored and stuck in the water closet.. lol so fuN!..

heh excuse my enthusiasm.. heh.. i got my Econs intro module which i was desperately trying to bid for.. lol.. and i have this! hee so wonderful.. and this lappy has an in built bluetooth too.. so i don't need to install anything to get my photos from my phone.. wHOO Hoo!

actually loads of things have been happening this week. it was just that i was too busy and stresed to actually blog about it.. nvm i shall now..

Last friday i went to wendy's hostel at ntu.. and became her maid.. lol.. anywayz the highlight of that was that after that we went down to jurong point where i had an enourmous meal courteous of wendy HEE! anyways we decided to walk around jp because i'm still looking for my sundress haha.. and instead i found a really glam dress.. and guess what it was only 36 dollars! and i decided to get a tube with it which cost another 6 dollars which entitled me to get a membership card.. WHEE

okie den on thursday i went for night classes at febc.. and den bro josiah gave us a lift in his PICKUP! so cooL! haha.. i've never set in a pick up before so it was really exciting that i got to try it! hee.. it really was exhilarating to feel the wind in your face.. our hair were windswept and truly just messy.. but haha it was fun.. i had to come back to wash my hair twice though.. coz that inevitably trapped alot of dust and dirt. hee

i think this photo is really cool.. i didn't do any photoshopping to it.. but kinda gives you the feel of the moving vehicle too! heh..

yeps just that dada and i at the back, chan debbie and grace were there too heh..

yepz.. yesterday night jas per and i went out and went to holland v haha.. its been a long while since i've been out with the babes.. ar wells..

i need to start plannin for my other modules.. i didn't get one of my modules though.. oh wells.

my happyness won't last long..

next week is full of orientation. ee hee

bidding

2007-07-31T19:16:00.000+08:00

Increasingly, I find that having the 'right' human behaviour is hard.

I don't know how but i feel that i've became more introverted as the years roll by. I have no idea why, but it just seems this way and I think its not necessarily good or bad, but i feel that my life is getting very isolated.

I'm in the midst of my biddings, so I'm a bit muddled, pardon me.

Blogging is rather narcissistic don't you agree? With sentences starting with I, and assuming that pple out there would really want to know about you. Its a bit redundant.

I'm glad for friends. Really. Sometimes convos with them just makes the day a little brighter.

stupid brother

2007-07-25T21:31:00.001+08:00

Seriously. I could really kill my brother. Just chapters away from the end he had to shout the ending to me! How immensely irritating and it really well, irked me to the point it made me go into screaming fits. AND HE DOESN'T EVEN READ AND CARE BOUT HARRY POTTER!!!!!!! He really enjoys tormenting me.

My dad was amused and wondered why I would be stuck at home the whole day, you see I can't normally do that. But wendy was a dear to let me borrow the book from her yesterday.. and so today was a no brainer. My dad told my brother at dinner bout me reading and he just started shouting at me on my way up. *I still feel like strangling him!!!!!!!!!

MM Lee looks really old.. sorry random tot. *I'm still trying to calm my nerves down. maybe i'm mad coz its finally over.. lol.

i've decided not to read it again till i get my whole potter set.. and maybe i'll start from book one again.

however the book did get a little boring at certain parts. yeah not as bad as lik the other books but it did get a little stale.

Wanted to do my hair today but haha reading was more impt.

oh gosh. i still extremely peeved that my brother ruin my ending. i think i will start screaming at him soon. argh.

anti-shopping

2007-07-24T10:32:00.000+08:00

Its been a week for disappointments. I swear orchard rd is out to get me. I Can't buy the stuff that i really want which well, has put me in a slightly dazed and angry mood.

I can't find my organiser, my potter series book and now the metallic markers. Hmms. I guess they are helping me save up? But i'm still slightly peeved.

This week will be kinda boring. Nothing much happening. I think I might gio dy down to study at macs. yesh. to study coz i've nothing better to do. and i think i might do something to my hair too.

omg. i'm so bored.

went out with gloria yesterday. lik finally.. lol. we haven't seen each other for lik 2 yrs.. and its quite ironic that when orph finally leaves.. gloria and i start to go out.

shit have i mentioned that i'm bored?

i was thinking of revamping my room.. gettin the double decker kind of bed frame.. but the lower deck doesn't have a bed... just space to put lik stuff.. i was thinkin of getting a small reading couch. if i want to do that.. i had better start soon.

my table'z a mess again. when i just packed it not too long ago.. i guess i really am just a messy person. heh.

btw here'z a warning to all my friends.. don't be a spoiler bout the hp ending.. i'll probably disown you. and i already know that hedwig dies. thanks to pevilyn. rarh.

jittery

2007-07-19T20:46:00.000+08:00

8 mnths of blissful holidays have came and passed. Weird ain't it? hmms.

I finally packed my room today.. threw out much of my A levels stuff.. haha lik finally rite? I couldn't bear to throw away my un-used Prelim Papers.. shall pass them on to my jrs soon. I saved most of my phy and math notes too.. phy coz i worked to hard on it. and math coz well math seems essential. chem notes were in files which i emptied and threw to the grangunii.. days starring at popo.. gone *phaftt just like dat. i guess i'm glad. no more organic chem and their mind boggoling structure ((:

I went to watch the potter movie yesterday. It wasn't intriguing. I'll say it was sketchy at best and i guess the fight scene was okie but that's bout it. ar wells. its okie wasn't pinning too much hope on it. the potter books are less than 48 hrs away though. *GRINS. went by borders yesterday.. and found out that borders is opening at 5 am and the books will go on sale at 7.01am. haha.. no i'm not waking up that early to get it.

what i do hope is that in the last installment of the series that 2 things don't happen..1)snape turns out to be a good guy 2) ron & hermoine get married.eek. i want to continue condemning snape. other den dat.. i really can't be bother if potter really dies. *evil grin.

anyways was rather sad that i couldn't find my planner. *grumbles. i almost cheered myself up by gettin a crumpler.. its 98 for the small one and 183 for the bigger one.. 98 seems resonable.. da kor wants to get the bigger one though.. haha.. shrugs.. i seriously think i will get it for skool..

i realised buying stuff for skool way in advance was a load of crap. haha. i'm kinda already sick of the clothes i bought and the bag which i got the other time looks just horrid now. heh.. more shoppin anyone?

okie better pick up the rest of the stuff i left lazily on the floor.. ohz i want a room make over tOO! hoooo and skool'z starting in bout 2 weeks.

i'm back

2007-07-16T17:52:00.000+08:00

ahoy mateYs.
I'm back from redang.. eee hhheeehehe..
okie.. at redang i re-acknowledge that i'm so not a sea gal. as much as i lurve to be in it and experience all that water sport things. i'm really not much of a mermaid. quite saddening don't you think.. but what do you aspect from a girl who get seasick on a superstar virgo rite? lol.

wen tng was a dear, i hope i wasn't a pain. coz we only went 1/3 snorkeling dives.. so ahahaha.. we spent the rest of the time lazing around and canoeing though.. yepz.

one thing i couldn't stand there was that everybody smoked. the cute girls smoked. the friendly tourist smokes. the ah bengs and ah lians? need i say? and everyone else had tatoos. omg. yeah but a pack of cigarettes there are lik dirt cheap.. bout 3++ SGD. yeah. i'm so glad that our gov decided to excessively tax those horrid things and ostracise smokers in the yellow box. :) i'm sorry to smokers. especially my friends who smoke. but hey I lived with the hatred of being a second hand smoker at home for the past 17 yrs of my life.. so i don't think i'm dat baseless in my prejudice against them.

caught a fever and a flu on the way back.. so i had to skip pre orientation camp. but i think i'm goin to crash camp when they go sentosa.. heh.. more tanning? i'm a bit black now.. my back'z peeling slightly and my face too but i kinda lik the tan.. well maybe its a bit dark but HEE. but guess waD? haha i dare to sun tan in my bikini top.. hee.. yeah.. tokin bout the bikinis.. i lik the black top and the green bottom.. lol..

okie okie.. my life is starting to get hectic again. HEE. need to start studying for econs. i think i might be heading down to west coast macs.. jr dears.. if you have study grps gio me yahs? or maybe can come down to macs.. but i dun think its very easy for you guys to get there.

okie.. goin to take my temp. sometimes it shoots up to 38 degrees. shooSH! don't tell my parents dat. and no.. i've not been to the docz.

ohz i lost weight. heh. due to my fever. heh. i went for medical check up today.. and thankfully my boobs didn't get grooped. yehz. met a couple of friends there too.. hee. ohz i was 66.2 with my jeans on today! hee.. stupid nurse didn't wait.. she saw 66.4 lol.. and when i came home.. and changed i was 65.6 hee hee .. i think i should get sick more don't you think? but i hate being sick..

can't wait to get my hands on the potter books. i'm plannin to spend a bomb on them. :/ hee

btw if you have nothing to do to nite..
9pm Speed ch 58
11pm brother and sisters ch 2

hee.. i noe i have nothing to do tonight.. btw i heard bro and sis was good.. dunno how true though..

moodyish??

2007-07-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

SO. Yesterday was Live earth. It to me was heart wrenching. No, not the fact that the Earth is dying, but wells, to realise that I actually do want to pursue that spasticated science course in ANU. I'm sorry i'm whinning about this again. But seriously it brought back the want vs need issue all over again, and however I see it, the only thing i can figure out is that I'm a whim. Or at least i feel that way. I know I should live life, no regrets kinda motto and I'm working on it. I need healthy,constructive and opinionated perspectives, of which its hard to find.

Anywayz, I've not started packing I think there's a tonne of things to bring and I don't think my addidas bag can fit them. *shivers. Just realise that i'm becoming super havoc. Pre-camp for O week (orientation week) is on 16-17th and btw i'm coming back on the 15th nite. I think my parents will flip. I don't know yet.. heh. And og'z outing is confirmed on the 10th. whheee.. if i'm allowed to do all these things.. WHEE!! :P :) :> XD

My dad changed alot of money for me today.. and he said bring lik more sing in case of emergencies.. lik gettin a plane home.. he even asked if i had insurance.. lik what happens if i die there. urmz. okieeee... yeah but i think i'm going to buy insurance for that too. apparently its only 20 bucks. *i noe pple lik dy is goin to buy insurance for a tsunami.. apparently she thinks i'll cause one. *phafht.

In case I don't have the time to say this.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENDY DEAR! on Friday the 13tH! and IF i really cause a tsunami.. i hope its on your birthday.. i mean come'on.. how cool is that right? who else can give you a natural disaster for a bdae present? Be THANKFUL! lol.

Okie. i've still yet to figure out my packing list.

btw if you haven't watch potter puppet pals. go to per'z blog. it brings a stupid smile :}

oh lookie here. i got another one. rarh.

parents aren't too happy bout og dinner. pisseeedd.

its a holiday

2007-07-07T11:57:00.000+08:00

Wendy and I were suppose to go down to the tour agency today, but she overslept, and thus I ended up re-vamping my blog in the spirit of Redang :)

The weather'z too nice to get out of the house anywayz, but the miraculous thing is that the day when i stay home is the day that nobody else is at home. haha..but its okie i like it like dat. Peaceful and quiet .

Lots of things are going to happen on Tuesday. I don't know why.. but thinking of it just sends pleasant shivers down my back. ahhh.. anticipation is a weird thing don't you think?

Lets see.. Orph is flying off in the morning, I have an og dinner.. and I'm leaving at 2230 :P *squeals

I bought a black sun dress.. (i dunno how a sun dress is black but yahs.) and i'm goin to get another bikini :) I'm high.

ohz i was too lazy to add more links.. sorry bout that.. i want to go shoppin stilL!

okie goin to bum around at home somemore! today's weather is so PERFECT!

ehhh..

2007-07-04T11:40:00.000+08:00

for those of you who still don't know, i failed driving.

fass camp was slightly more fun than i thought it would be.. but i didn't realised it till after i broke camp. For that i blamed my incredibly foul mood due to me pms-ing and driving. i hate it when i pms and i don't know bout it. but ar wellz. its over so yepz.

My og, rangers of rumpa, *yesh you are suppose to laugh, are a bunch of fun loving, overly enthusiastic and worst than taitai-ish gossip mongers. lol. of which i am included. we are united in one cause: project eliminate ah ee. But seriously, by the 5th day of camp we were doing some serious bitch work on her, but you can't exactly blame us, she is afterall weird and scary.

I almost had my worst experience at fass camp. we have sumthing called speed dating. its a nightly segment that all camps must have due to the fact that they are sponsored by SDU. anywayz. i ALMOST had to tongue bright. yes. i just said tongue. and bright. i would have positively cut my tongue out if i had done it. just as well as i didn't think i could live after that. hur.

And.. apparently i don't think i'll find a bf soon. lol.. stares pointedly at per. there were only 4 guys in my 18 strong grp. of which all can't make it you'll understand as we decked names lik ah boy, ah pek, ah tiong and ah blur.

okie i shan't blog too much bout it here.. i think its more entertaining if i told you in person. btw i met some entertaining friends there. lik seriously their brains can work a 100 times faster than mine. and now you all thought my suanning skills were bad. if i can rip some picz of i'll post them here :)

this was us at sentosa. my og was running everywhere.. and we were the coolest og that had donuts and rode the sky lift.. lol..

these are the two cutest aka.. smallest girls in the og.. janice myself sherlyn :)

myself alicia and sherlyn.

alicia is way cute. haha.. she'z also super scared of ah ee.. hee.. btw the world is small coz sheryln and orph were classmates! lol.. yepz

ripping off the photos makes me wonder why i yet to have a cam to call my own. lol. i just realised my current camera on my phone sucks. doesn't have flash and all that.. so my next phone will be sumthing with a good cam! :P

soundtracks maniac

2007-06-24T17:23:00.000+08:00

ended up goin shoppin with the guys yesterday and did quite a bit of impulsive shoppin. i got a pair of teva slippers and soundtracks from 13 and potc. saw jerold. found a cool shop with nice stationary.

i'm goin for fass camp. i'm starting to be a little apprehensive. okie its time to deck out the enthusiastic mask.

my contacts sucks. because they are the daily ones with not enough estic.

still don't feel belonged there. haix. should i just stop trying already?

i'm still currently fat.

spinning head

2007-06-22T12:17:00.000+08:00

Disturbed by the relentless chimes of my phone, and the need to go to the toilet last nite, I woke up at 345 only to read troubling sms-es. Haunted by the fact that the bbq tonite might be slightly screwed, i tossed and turned on the bed till 530 and slept another 2 hrs more before i needed to wake up. I'm dazed, disappointed and tired.

I actually slept for 5 hrs. but gone were the days when that was enough. hur. There was too much food you see. And being one of the-coz-u-do-it-evertime-organisers among good friends means that you have the unofficial responsibilty to solve problems. So i was wondering how in the world that was goin to be ironed out so hence my insomia. Thankfully, ezb has great service. okie maybe not great. but its good. so i called them at 8 to try my luck and gratefully could get some reduction in my order. Now its the atmosphere. RARH.

Went for my driving lessons at 830 this morning which i kinda screwed. My instructor kept on saying ni bu zuan xing orh! okie. i was too tired to defend my case. and he was like ni bu yong wen dui mah? ru guo ni ke bu ke yi pass. and i was lik shit. okie. thanks.

Another bummer was that after lessons, i normally hit the gym coz its walking distance away, but sigh i barely ran for 15 mins and i had to call it quits. My head was floating. seriously floating. so i had to cut short my 2 hrs work out plan. and for that i'm kinda pissed.

I so need my sleep. But before that..

Yesterday was a blast. thanks to per. who always makes fun of me. lol at least she'z laughing with me and not at me. :P We ended up chasing the illusive kate moss dress. went from city hall, bus to orchard, and mrt to vivo. it was really funny coz we were rushing everywhere lik u see 2 giggly girls running everywhere.. from 730-845.. yeh. the orchard topshop staff were more helpful and decided to help us call vivo. thankz. but per was lik that's too far?! how are we getting there. and i'm lik .. come'on you can't not go there noW!! lol.. yeah so with my instigation and her hopes we flew down to vivo (where both of us conveniently forgot which had a topshop outlet and i was there the whole day with my dad) only to be blissfully rewearded with both size 6 and size 8. :) she got her dress and her card :) and she was seriously just grinning from ear to ear :):):):):)haha..

and yesh i called the ipod wheel thing the turn-turn thing. issit that funnY? haha. i tend to speak before i think hence the slurred and mispronounced words which the whole night was littered with and you can be sure miz pEVILyn would pick up to mock me.. heh. miz pEVILyn also made me eat fat and crabos for dinner, when my inital plan was greens and proteins. rarh. lol..

And..I got my black strappy sandals too with daddy don't really know whether it was the nicest choice but oh wells.. And..darrell bailed and i bailed andre so i didn't go down early to city hall to hand in fass camp form, thus i'm now on the waiting list cos they met the girls quota. ar wellz. disappointed? a lil' but maybe its divine intervention, can concentrate more on driving.

lets see.. wad else. dear dear pevilyn told me bout the buffy comics. I LURVE! lol haven't read them. need my beauty sleep. heh.

Quick rain now, so it'll stop later.
btw.. is the font too small? am i'm causing all of you to squint when you read this?

And jas! i'm not losing weight by hitting the gym! whY!!!
its 1 now. good nite.

67.3

"fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care"

2007-06-21T09:10:00.000+08:00

omg. did you see the flyer from pizza hut?! 2 pizzas for 19.90! OH COME ON! tell me you ain't drooling too. garhz. I'm half inching my way to pick up the phone to get the pizzas. nono.. i can't.. (think bout my waist) maybe if you guys are free to come over to my place to watch some movies and then we can order pizzas.. (pleading eyes..)

i think i'm goin to fass camp. need to get parents' consent. and then i'm shipppin myself off. but it'll be interrupted by driving and driving test. its next thu btw. now if i pass u have a friend with benefits. :)

btw i'm freaking out over University stuff again. i dunno why. i'm thinkin i shouldn't have gone into fass. *shivers.

duan wu jie

2007-06-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

its ba zhang day. i've not eaten ba zhang today. probably will tmr morning. i watched 13 today. its okie. not TOO disappionting.. yeah. i've no idea why this season of block busters haven't been good.
i went to collect my bikini. i got my ez video card. and i bought more ridiculous rilakkuma things which all made me happy. other plus points includes subway and swimming.
i need to get black strappy/sandal/slipper thingy.. soon.
I've seriously too much time on my hands now.

omg

2007-06-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

that's my new fav phrase. i've no idea why. went over to andre'z to wellz slack with the guys. watched ghost rider, blade trinity and the departed.. okie la. yesterday was father'z day. shrugs. sometimes family can be a dirty word don't you think? anywayz dead tired now. i've no idea why. driving test is coming up. still wondering if i should go for the fass camp. there'z clubbin involved for sure. i'm still thinking. 50 bucks. maybe it will do wonders for my social life. of which i have none. zit. zero. saddening? maybe.

nice weather

2007-06-17T17:02:00.000+08:00

i have no idea how to get new songs. *frustrated.
need to pack my filthy room again.
i like this song. but i promised someone that i'm not goin to upload the song as my background..

screwy

2007-06-15T12:01:00.000+08:00

why issit that skool hasn't started but i feel lik i've screwed it already?

Exchange Programmes essay dateline is today.
Orientation Camps Applications Closes within the next few days.

i haven't done anything. sighz.

66.9

chicks.

2007-06-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

went out with jaz and per today. :) we finally found time so that the 3 of us can go out together! YAY! lol..

met jaz and went to chapter 2 to get her hair done.. i lik her bangs. i think i'll cut bangs soon too.. :O

that's one hot skinny chick. grr. envious of her.. lol

yepz went down to subway! yums.. i lurve subway! haha.. yeah then we went down to topshop where per was smokin' in her black dress.

i've no idea why she is trying to seduce me! lol.. haha

i can't take good photos for nuts. lol.. yeah jaz took this one.

okie so we decided to be zi lian.. coz after all i can start uploading my photos from my phonE! yippeE.. heh..

yepz finally us! lol.. i lurve 'em to bits. haha.. the next time we meet up i think i'll be runnin on the beach chasing by those 2 with scissors.. >.<

okie watchin star wars now..

67.3 :(

quirkyness

2007-06-12T09:43:00.000+08:00

There is this cat that resides at clementi kopitiam. Its grey in colour and has the fullest round face i've ever came across. I lik cats with full round faces. They look more adorable and less cunning in a way. We went to get some grocceries this morning and the cat was sleeping on a chair. It must have known that its ancestors were once revered, hence it hopped up to sleep.. either that or the coffee shop owners have come to love the cat too. i took a pic of it.

Are you amazed that i uploaded that pic? lol. i actually am. I finally figured out how to connect my phone and pc together. THE JOY >.< the wonder. Yesh. i noe bimbo. I actually told my da kor bout it yesterday night.. and he was lik BIG DEAL. ar wellz. one small insignificant achievement for me. Now.. i've to figure out how to upload songs onto my blog. lol.. i'll try to figure it out. and yay.. now u guys can start sending me music too! *BLISS

since i was sorting out the data in my phone.. here are some more pics.

this is the mango dress that really looked outragesously gross on the hanger.. but when i tried it.. it was really nice! lol.. but it was lik 125 bucks.. and its the kind of thing where u wear once and never wear it again.. so i gave up trying to get it..

this is Alena. she'z my youngest niece on my daddy'z side, she'll be turning 2 later this yr. she was the only one i couldn't "trick" into liking me during the korea trip. i'll try to get the photos of my other necies and nephews.. but i think she'z the cutest so far.. okie.. ross (my youngest nephew)is way cute too. but Alena is really naughty lol. she is so cute that when she whines and cries one of the uncles/aunties/grandparents will come over to defend her. lol. spoilt brat in the makinG? maybe.. she is stuck onto cindy jie jie (her mom) lik glue. cindy jie jie reckons Alena got the genes from me.. cindy jie jie was/is my fav couz she'z 12 yrs older.. and when she had to leave to study in cananda when she was 16 my world fell apart. i stuck onto her lik kola bear and hugged her to death.. but she had to leave .. and that's Alena now. she cries out for maa MEEEEEEE!!! which technically is earth shattering in a enclosed bus.

She likes older men though. lol. BUAYIII!! heh. my dad has no trouble tricking her into liking him. and she gladly lets him bao her. i couldn't bao her at all.. and the once which i did was because she tot i was cindy jie jie and when she realised i wasn't her mom ar wellz.. i dun need to explain. (all the jie jiez and i look alike.. or kinda.. that's what they all say.. lol)

anywayz. this pic was taken by the river in seoul. did you all watch 200 pound beauty? (i bought the dvd) there'z a scene by the river.. yeps its that river. lol..
don't ask me what the name is.. okie i'm off for driving lessons..

void of interesting topics

2007-06-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

yepz. came back from korea. nothing much to say bout it.

got pissed off by somebody. i couldn't be bothered to rationalise my foul mood.

i find myself yet again spiraling down into a world of nothing-ness. THIS was what drove me to find a job. I seriously hope i won't find another one.

Cooking classes starts tmr. Goin to the market we mama to buy stuff to stuff into the zhang. wrapping the zhang on sat though. so its lik prolonged cooking lesson. At least i'll have something to do.

i guess its a good time to start seriously losing weight. i've been saying that for ages.. so don't mind me.

and there'z always yiting'z econs notes to study (thanks..) but hur. you all know how well that will go on..

holiday-ing with my friends seems to be drifting further and farther away. sigh.

just bored.

eecky sticky night

2007-05-28T22:29:00.000+08:00

FAT. that's wad i am recently.. have been goin to orchard with my parents 5 times in the past week. just so you know how crazily invovled in shopping my parents actually are. lol. whenever i eat with them.. i tend to eat alot.. coz its good food.. and they tend to slightly over order..

Anywayz.. i got my addidas jacket. :) its ordinary for the 109 bucks it was. just black with white stripes. the sales pple at addidas (the cathay) are nice. so far from my shoppin only the Hugo Boss at Taka and addidas would be consindered as good service.. which says alot about the quality of service in singapore..

went down to collect my cert at pioneer.. i sported a typo and wanted it change.. my dad scolded me for being so stupid for wanting to change SHe to She.. i dunno why i got scolded still.

i need to study. where are the fishes when you need theM? lol.. but i'm goin to korea from tmr till 3 june. so yepz.

I have accepted fass @ nus. they say u should be at peace with your decision if its the right one. I'm not. so what does that mean? I still want to go overseas.. but i noe its more for the experience then the acutal cert.. so am i rite to stay? I noe that I am not ready for this term to fly its too sudden and so am I stalling? my bro said to apply again for feb. Maybe i will. i'm not sure. Nothing is certain.

i watched pirates twice. just coz i tot that watching it the 2nd time would give me a better understanding.. and duh it did. went out with darrell and andre.. i noe what you guys are thinking.. lalala.. but it was amusing to note that they tot i was attached.. i have no idea why.. lol. and if you are goin to watch.. there'z a scene after the credits.. i dunno wad the scence after dead man'z chest was.. anyone wants to enlighten me?

damnz i haven't packed my bags. I'm so not ready to go.. haha.. i hope i have inspiration to pack tmr after.. rite now.. its just to bloody hot.

starting reading star wars again. gettin sucked into it again. i dunno why. i should stop reading it already..

okie.. off for another bath.. and to my book.. cheerios

KAWAII - NEH!

2007-05-21T21:58:00.000+08:00

Today started out as an errand day but it turned into something much bigger than that. So I returned my Carrier stuff,got my eyes checked and contacts ordered, got back my phone all in the morning. Then my dad said he needed to go shoppping. Okie i tot shoppin as in sheng shiong shopping.. but no.. it was Orchard Shopping. I was suprise!
He wanted to get a pair of jeans see. So he asked if I wanted to go along, and told me to get mommy down too just cuz she would grumble if we didn't invite her.. lol.

So here'z what happened. He needed to get a hand pouch for our trip to korea. He needed to get disposable underwear. He didn't want mommy to be spending so much money. I am just helping him pick out his jeans.

In the car I was even more bewildered when i found out that he wanted to get a Hugo Boss jeans. He was like
" I saw this guy wearing a pair of Boss jeans.. they looked really nice"..
I stared at him... he continues
"But i've been to Boss before and i haven't seen it.."
Relived I asked,
"When was that?"
He answered
" About 1 1/2 yrs ago."

Honestly I was skeptical when he wanted to buy the jeans. But okie. its HIS money. so technically he can do what he wants. So we went down to Boss and my dad was grateful that the ladies boss was on a diff level at taka.

You know how sales assistance aren't too friendly if they can sense that you are not buying anything? haha.. that never happens with daddy. So the boss guy (somewhat metro i would say.. all of them are.) was helping daddy.. daddy didn't noe wad size of pants he was wearing.. and he wanted sumthing high cut.. so the guy measured his waist and it was 35. Excuse me.. my dad is a LAO AH PEK. so can you imagine his BIG ROUND BELLY.. the guy put the mearsuring tape around his BIG ROUND BELLY! and was lik sir i'm sorry but you would have to try paragon.. we don't carry your size here.. LOL! my dad was utterly disappionted! haha..

After we went out of the door I was like.. why do you want boss jeans? and he was like coz i'm plannin to get ONE pair.. might as well get a good nice one. He den asked any other brands? WELLS.. since I knew his budget i suggested Armani Exchange and he was a happy tropper positively gleaming when he we walked down to A/X .. lol.. We saw a REALLY nice pair of jeans. Lik it totally complemented his butt and legs. *my dad is somewhat thinner den me.. so for a guy.. he's still quite in shape.. lol.. But you see he has an ultra big BELLY.. its lik a beer belly and a fat belly put together.. it has grown VERY LARGE AND ROUND.. and yeah.. generally now a days the cuts are a little low.. so his belly was seriously petruding out lik a muffin. like EEEKKKK!!!! lol.. BUT other den dat he looked good.. so we continued down to ck, timberland and levis.. and realised he wore a 32 and not a 35..(coz he wears it jus under his belly..) lol.. so my happy tropper went back to boss to try the 32/33 jeans.. and he found a pair for 298! its 1 buck cheaper den a/x.. lol.. but it didn't hug his stomach so much.. and a/x'z still looked nicer.. but he planned to get them anyways.. and when we were about to pay.. the sales assistance was lik there will be a sale soon.. want to get them then? lik how nice was dat! its lik 30% off then.. so it would be 209! omg! my dad was happy. he was lik OKIE! i'll come down first thing when the sales starts! .. haha this is called quality service! :)

so we went back to timberland coz mommy wanted to get a pair of walking shoes.. i ended up sitting there for lik another hr. and my dad got a pair too.. and lik coz they wanted to use the voucher more econmically.. they asked me if i wanted anything.. i almost bout a 124 khaki jacket. it is a REALLY NICE CUT.. and i was wearing an M! lik M! can you believe it? lol.. yeah.. but i think it was a ted bit too formal and its khaki.. i dun really look good in that colour.. so i decided to skip.. coz my dad was in an UBER good mood.. so i told him if i got this jacket i couldn't (coz it was not neccessary) to get my addidas jacket.. so he said okie lor.. and we hopped down to addidas.. and BAHZ! they didn't have anything nice therE!.. okie den i was slightly sad and exhausted.. and daddy still wanted to buy a kettle for boiling tea leaves.. so we went to the departmental store for another hr! RARH! by the time we left i was in a tired-grumpy mood.. and insisted that we went back to imm for dinner and hoshi..

that's when i saw IT!

you noe how some pple have stupid fatish-es? I have found mine. RILAKKUMA!!!!!!!!! i think most of you guys won't noe wad it is.. so here let me educate you:) its a teddy bear from san-x. dunno wad'z san-x? its the brand that brought you hello kitty,melody,kiropi and other irritatingly cute but despisable characters. if you can recall my japanese teddy bear ruler? yepz.. that Rilakkuma. :) I actually saw the shop before eating at hoshi.. but i was in a very daze and tired mood that i had no energy to investigate.. but after eating a very full tepanyaki dinner.. we had to walk around for the food to digest.. so daddy went to challenger.. mommy went to daiso and i headed for that shop.. lol.. and there! i found my LONG LOST RULER! the one that my piano teacher gave me when i was lik p5 or p6 for scoring merit on one of my praticals.. its not the exact same.. but it is in the tranclucent white colour with it on top. Love at first sight is all i can say.. I actually did buy a replacement before.. but its not really nice... and i've been looking for this character for lik 3-5 yrs now. so Excuse me for being overly estatic.

Now. don't kill me. i spent $21 on 3 items. namely.. the ruler, a mechanical pencil, and lik a handphone charm thingy. i noe its impulsive.. and probbably stupid.. that's why i only showed the ruler to my parents.. (3.2, 10, 7.8) so.. haha.. yeah.. they have all the rare san-x characters there.. so if you want anything rare.. go there.. lol.. i'm lik a walking advert for them! lol !!! den outside best denki i saw the machines that you put in a dollar coin to get those collectable stupid key chains thing?! and Rilakkuma was there! How could i not try my luck? i got the irritating yellow bird though.. ar wellz.. i'll try my luck again when i go there.. BTW the shopkeepers were really nice and friendly.. haha.. and lik they also instigated me to buy more.. lol no lar.. they were very friendly.. and were saying how angela (zhang xiao han.. or sumthing lik that.. mvp qing ren girl) lik him too. and i was lik wadeva.. lol.. oops.. yeah.. and then they were saying that i should come back a few days later coz they are bringing it somemore stuff.. !!! lol.. i'm soo THRILLED! yeah.. they were describing the toys in chinese.. and i was lik i told them i won't buy the toys.. just the lik stationary and more practical stuff.. den lik there'z this white bear with Rilakkuma.. and i asked the lady who it was.. she said she didn't noe.. but she lent me the magazine which showed all the characters.. but that was of no help because it was in japanesE! lol.. yeah.. but i was really happY! and they were really nice.. and they didn't sound singaporean.. and couldn't be PRCs.. so i asked them where they were.. and they said taiwan.. haha.. i should have known.. they said they have tonnes of shops lik theirs in taiwan! and i was lik REALLY! and they said they would be shipping in more stuff too!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

in case you didn't noe what i was talkin about.. check it out.. :)

Sorry for goin so frantically high.. and babbling everything out.. but yeah i haven't felt so thrilled and happy in a long while..

okie.. being sober a bit.. i think i'll be goin to nus fass.. i think my parents are happy that i am..

oh i'm UBER happy bout something else too.. Wendy and I just bought tix to POTC on thursday at vivo.. lol.. you can kill me now.. :P
we didn't noe you could buy advance tix off the counter lik a week in advance.. and when we found out that there were actually decent seats left.. it was a no brainer to get them.. lalalala.. happy! really am :)

me time

2007-05-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

I'm finally off from work.

Its going to be rough week I can tell. Probably alot more squabbles, yelling, hair gritting times. So to anyone who is goin to see me good luck and be warned that I might snap.

Teenage angst is a funny thing. You seem to be mad about everything and everyone not knowing what the exact reason is.But you just know that you are upset and peeved. You don't know what provokes you so you just lash out to every single thing that comes your way. You want to bite,rip,slash at the slightest irksome. You just don't feel yourself. That's me right now. Ironic.. I should have already gotten over this phase but apparently not. I feel too old to feel this way, lik i should know better how to react. But I can't. Not won't. Can't.

Along comes "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" wise words.

Today at ypg a qns was pose: what do you hope to get when your this current life ends?

Answers.

Its not what I hope to get. Its what I want to get. But, why didn't anyone say that? Am I the only one who still feels lost? Is it because I have not resign myself to faith all en trustingly *the word might not exist? Maybe i'm just a hypocrite. Maybe that's why. I like classes like that. They tend to inject salt into my system. Its good.

I didn't go for NTU meet the session with the faculty. I would think that is the STUPIDEST thing i have done thus far. Thank You very much. My parents seem to be hounding on that fact. I retort with the "are you happy now" line. I think there's a problem with me. I'm not sure what it is yet. But i think i have a problem.

You know how sometimes someone says something and though they seem to not mean it they really do mean it? Wells, my advice to them is, you want to be horrid just be horrid. No point trying to hide the fact that you are horrid. Damns aren't i just a very hard person. I should change.

So "Me time" is a work in progress. Lets hope I'll remember to just breathe.

3 1/2 days

2007-05-15T11:52:00.000+08:00

that's how long more till i'm out of here. happiness. well not pure happiness but its happiness. *grins.

i can do things that i've been dying to do.
crashing jaz's course
extreme bumming
learning jap
learning french
learning how to cook from grandmama
bumming at jaz'z/per'z or my place. *gets ready the popcorns and pillows.. :)
tennis-ing
squash-ing
and just maybe golf-ing

other things that i might pursue would be goin into the retail industry and maybe into the banking sector if i'm staying in singapore.

hmm wad else? holidaying with my freinds!!!! if i'm not goin to aus i'll definetly plan sumthing.

i'm bored at work by the way.. serene'z in a meeting again. couldn't be bothered to ask her for work.. so i'm lik checking on my filing if i've filed properly..

dunno if i should go down to support the gals tmr.. they seem to be slightly devastated.

i need to get my earlier driving test date. lyn taught by this guy called mr soh has alerady gotten her liscence. she start in apr.. she finished in may. that's damn cool. apparently she went to ubi to get tested.

its not as simple as just going overseas to study you know? some very ignorant person told me that. lik hell ya. why do you think i'm having such a hard time? some pple are just better off not stating the obvious kinda peeves me off.

okie shan't cramp my relaxing mood now.. since its one of the few days where i've nothing to do in the office.. lalala

btw? watched grey's? if you haven't go catch it.. crying over some fictional character's woes can be comforting. funny huh? well at least it works for me..

oh and per?! 28 days? wanna catch.. there'z zombies in it.. :X

4pr gathering

2007-05-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

its our first since the 2 1/2 yrs since we graduated from sc. it was nice seeing the old bunch of gals.. i was quite sad that only 2 main cliques turned up.. and lukily peiying was there with me.. felt a bit awkward.. coz pple lik orph, xiu jun, gloria didn't go.. oh wellz.

it brought back a tonne of memories.. and it was nice NOT oraganising anything for once.. although i felt guilty for not doin anything. but yeah.. the meeting kinda reminded me how secluded pioneer was from THEIR world. lik really. i dun think its was a good or a bad thing.. but it made me realise that maybe i was fortunate or unfortunate enough to be able to see the heartlander side of society.. which struck me as.. man boi aren't we just a bunch of spoilt kids. lik seriously.

but then i realised that despite being spoilt, sometimes bimbotic and bitchy, at least they were responsible to study hard to get where they were. i mean yesh they maybe oblivious to their fortunate circumstances but at least they are putting effort to keep their fortunate circumstances, and i respect them for that.

so half of the conversations were lik suprise! suprise! which courses we were attending.. things lik business and fass were hot favourites, not to mention one lawyer and one doctor in the making.. which actually thrilled me. no, seriously. it thrilled me. its scary yet comforting that pple have to make these big choices and are making them already, and the fact that i'm on the same track means i'm not far off.. i noe this might sound stupid, but when you are around these pple, the pressure is on to be someone better. lik there is a incentive to want to be better. and sadly i couldn't say that bout my jc. i mean the friends were great.. but as far as lofty ambitions go.. the bunch from pioneer are more how shall we say.. realistic.. well that's one way to put it.. or you can just say uninspired. Either way, i have come to realise that i dun regret staying in pioneer. it has led me to open my eyes. And that i won't be happy in either. i need to be somewhere in between. being able to be content with what i have, but at the same time being able to acheive a respectable standard of sorts. i guess that was my aim all along. i'm glad i've come to realise it.

so maybe going overseas now its not going to happen. so what? and maybe if i were to stay and push freaking hard i'll just make it to 2.2. so what? i should strive to be what i can be and then weigh fancy possibilites against practicality. in short. i want to be lik them but not them. lol.

i find it enlightening. wanting to be "in" and yet skirting the outside.. not being pulled into the eye of the cyclone which makes you dizzy and throws you from your centre.

another amusing realisation is to find out that gays exists lik really exists.. lol. you noe lik not gays acting gays.. but lik gays who screw with other gays and want to get married with gays kinda gays. all these from vj. okie i should be finding this more disgusting than amusing.. but still its amusing to hear that..

overall i had i wouldn't call it fun.. but was happy to meet the prudies.. just cause from the cookie cutter.. the cookies are being decorated with different kinds of icing :) *btw have i mention before that my class was an over-acheiving class? lol..

deja vu

2007-05-10T18:27:00.000+08:00

Dad was talking bout my choices. He says wanting to go means going already. I think not. Maybe i should seriously try to get an honours in econs here. I don't know.

I should really heed my dad's advice. Although he has double standards, critizes too much and is too cynical, he loves me. He in his very rude but sure way in his way and is mostly right. He takes enough precautions to keep himself falling. He anaylses. Over analyses. Makes theories of how things are and often hits it with a pint of black. He sucks at communication and when he does, it sometimes seem in the nick of time. He reserves his judgement and make them known so that he can pull us off the cliff. I think i idolise my dad. I hate him sometimes. but still.. he is my dad. He is curt. Irritatingly Obnoxious and doesn't want to believe in fluff.

He makes me cry.

His prescence is suffocating if you don't see a hint of a smile. His eyes are fierce,Unforgiving and when it waters up you feel fear for the fact that a rock can wail.

He scolds me for my involvement in anything but work. He cannot understand being a part of a team or something other than academics is worth the while. He cannot understand this especially when it compromises your grade. He can't get it. He won't get it. And maybe he is mostly right.

I know he wants me to stay. I know this from the way he talks. I am spoilt. I've been spoilt for the whole of my life. I do not think that i have enough discipline to prove him wrong. Look here and my grades again. What happened to oh to do well to get where i want to without them worrying. I should have gotten over it by now. But i can't. Somehow i can't help but wonder if i'm not made to excel in studies. which rite now sucks. does he think i can't make it through life too? does he think i'll just limber along barely able to hold on? he won't say.

Went out with wendy again yesterday. she and i are lik seeing each other very often lik every week. which is slightly cool. was really sad that i couldn't find the ruler that i wanted.

ohz they say for ab blood type to loose weight you should eat toufu, mutton, lamb, rabbit. don't ask me the difference between mutton and lamb. and rabbits? haha.. i told wendy that she can get me rabbits from spca now.. *see dydy goin up in fits.. lol

okie i'm off to bathe. goin to try to get er kor to let me watch heroes and bleach. i need to make a timeline of where i am going.

it seems lik whenever i'm set to go somewhere, some one comes in my way to make me want to go the opposite direction again. when will i stop being so influenced by what pple think and what I think??

hey doll

2007-05-02T18:39:00.000+08:00

"The people who suffer the most are the people who don't know what they want."
I guess that's actually half true. But what exactly is a Want? A want is not a Need, but a need can be a want. And what exactly defines a want? A desire? A passion? A lust?
Is it something innate that we instantly know what we yearn for and hence would in a split second decide on the course of action that we want?

I do not know how a Want works. Is a Want considered a Want after you have contemplated and reason with yourself that the Want you actually Want is a Want that you Want? Or are you just trying to convince yourself to want something that you didn't want in the first place? If so, then a want will be influenced by factors and opinions which may ultimately not be yours.

Okie. The main point is that I do not know what I want. and the want that I tot I wanted doesn't seem to be a want anymore. But the next best choice is also not exactly something that I want either. Confusing? I think so to. and its all bout the courses that i'm goin to take.

I received an offer from nus fass. My dad said "at least you have a place in nus" I'm sure you can read in between the lines. but i guess i deserve it. i told him i might want(okie.. that may not exactly be the word to describe it..) to do engineering and then he chided me for not putting that before fass. i dun blame him either.

but here'z what i blame him for. talking to me as if i were being interrogated lik i'm some criminal. and screaming in the middle of the night.

i guess he'z rite to have no faith in me. cos afterall i'm not some high flyer-responsible-hasterner kid which i'm guessing should strive to be.

Anyways looks lik he'z holiday plans are more screwed than the ones i wanted to make. Cos i'll be away when the appeals are to happen. black humor. I can't rub it in and i'm actually stuck now. farnie.

the 280k for the next 4 yrs for my education doesn't seem to be worth the while especially (and trust me when i say this.) if i don't get a job easily which is secondary to finding a guy and marry off.
you might ask wat's so bad if you find an ang moh bf in the end.. har.. when he already blames us for being brain washed by a western culture.

Sometimes, just sometimes my cynical family are actually a blessing.

I've been missing my weekly dose of bball. So i'm goin to run later. I ate Merlionmonster twice in 6 days. *gleams. i like strawberry cheese cake ice cream. i ate it first with per den with s26 peeps. i was so glad to see ilin christina and xueling coz albeit they were the ones that pulled me thru phy and our trips down to the libaries. lol. i was radiant. truly was. i won hs at dytona twice yesterday too. heh. i noe what you are thinkin *shoots menacing glares all around.. but honestly can you scream with me! i beat a guy. comeon ... that's a marvel rite? (i noe cheap thrill.. heh) andre and darrell where lik -.- okie can't exactly blame them but they didn't touch the ice cream at ALL! they attribute it to their cough.. and wad not. hope they'll get well soon. and i bought two pairs of cute earrings.. and i'm sure if some pple saw me they will suan me stiff.. rarh. heh..

We went to the pet shop there coz well we had nothing better to do at vivo.. Anywayz,I figured i would want to own a west highland terrier one of these days. i want a brownish-greyish one. just cause they are so adorably cute. and if i need a dot to guard the house a black labrador/golden retriever would be my pick.. :) i think i might want to go down to the near by pet shop to work as a part timer.. i dunno coz animals are therapeutic.. wells.. just maybe before i kill them with my incompetence. heh.

67.5 now. ohz. bought a new fake puma bag. it not sumthing that i wanted to get.. but i think it might grow on to me.. still need to get more shirts though.

i took leave on friday not knowing i got my letter today. I call it God's divine intervention coz i really do need to think. But i dun think anyone is free to think through with me. rarh. i'm a talker. and its the worse way to learn, just cause its so hard to be independent.

my new fix.

2007-04-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

lets see.. new hair? check.
new clothes? check.
new must have drink? check.

wad else do i need to get? shoes. bag. and more tops.

okie. nothing much happening just that i haven't wrote my letter. and that wellz i apparently am addicted to green apple celery juice. eek? a bit.

my hair's short again. i couldn't wait till june. its actually quite normal looking but if i can style it properly it has a mod feel to it. and i like it. my mom said it wasn't worth the 28 bucks. and scolded me for not goin to her hairdresser. i dun lik hers. she has limited creativity. she scolded me for getting pimples. i dunno wad's up with that. mothers are weird don't you agree?

my mom made me eat supper with my dad coz my da kor pang sehed him. which is stupid, becuase she was the one who bought chicken only for dinner before asking. and is not filling. so yeah went down to the market to eat supper again. i ate supper yesterday. i've been eatin alot of suppers.

i should stop scheduling morning driving lessons.

i was 66.8 this morning.
i'm 67.7 now. haha.

CHOCOLATE FRENZY

2007-04-13T20:06:00.000+08:00

Could you be my Lover?
Could you be my Heart?
Could you save me from myself?
Or be my Mighty Ark?

The World's around me laughing,
assured in their own stride.
i try my best to step in tune,
but never am a part.

I looked to you for solace,
I sought when i despaired.
I couldn't find your presence,
or a shadow for warmth.

The Listless Souls are running,
Yes, I am keeping up.
I see the abyss before me,
I wondered how they passed.

I guess you didn't know.
I was hurting yet again.
I didn't let you know,
Afraid you didn't care.

I saw two herds of people,
Both of which, I adored,
I could not yet decide,
Which path to call my own.

My inner self keeps mocking,
My facade I put still smiling,
I try so hard to portray,
A stranger now familiar.

I want to stop, just end,
To let my sanity be kept.
This yearning that I have,
I'll never admit again.

I am finding my own Heart,
to put it back to Me.
To find my spirit yet again,
to be soaring, set free.

my colleagues told me of the meiji factory which sold chocolates cheaper than the market rate, apparently the factory opens to the public on every Friday for lik 3 hrs only, when i find out where it is, you guys are invited to go with me the next time. :) btw. i think i've become serene'z personal assistant, not that i'm complaining but its a bit too boring.. but at least she is nice.

i need to pack my room to find my earphones so that i can run and listen to music discreetly, i'm for retail therapy tomorrow.. wow that's crap. i need to buy clothes for my ( i dun want to go/dunno what i'm doing/why i'm goin) interview on this tuesday.

i've been eating supper these past few nights and i ate a whole bunch of chocolates in the office today. i so have to get down to writing my letter.

i know why i want to fly away, maybe its to start a fresh, maybe is to prove my independence, but i konw i'm scared shit to actually go. i really need to pack my room and go for a run.. and hopefully not get an outbreak of hives again.

there'z driving tmr. my instructor says i'm too rash, impatient and impulsive.. all this he can tell me through my driving. den he corrected himself and told me to go for a medical check up coz he thinks i've got heart problems/high blood pressure. and honestly i won't be surprised.i feel lik puking my guts out, just cause i think i'll feel better after dat. there'z perpetual bats flying in my stomach now..i have no idea why they coined the term butterflies in my stomach when its ironic to describe your distress with the graceful fluttering of butterflies

67.8 :(

bored at work (II)

2007-04-10T16:27:00.000+08:00

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Dydy is your soulmate.

You truly love Jasmine.

You consider Wendy your true friend.

You know that Pear is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Dada for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Darrell is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Sophia is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Cheryl is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Cheryl changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Christina is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Christina has a hidden internet romance.

What'>http://blogthings.com/whatdoyoureallythinkofyourfriendsquiz/">What Do You Think of Your Friends?

no flankers

2007-04-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

obsession with weight??
i'll make it a healthy obsession okie?
darn i am really whinny. okie its not lik a news flash or anything but yeah. i should really just shuddup. lik seriously.

okie darrell andre and i had our last meal/show together. tnmt. not bad. it reminded my of my childhood days when i watched it. i couldn't remember their names and the backgrounds either, the plot was actually rather lame but it was worth it because of the sentiments it held.

bought new shoes. met up with jaz. i need to revamp my wardrobe again. i think that person i showed you was lik sporty glam look rite? lol. i'm becoming flowery. i bought flowery shoes. i've a flowery top, a flowery skirt and i almost got a flowery handphone pouch. i hope its a phase. coz i think i'm getting too flowery.

anywayz. da kor picked me up. had to wait for him for another 20 mins after i told him i'd be there in 15.. ar wellz. not the point. he told me my skirt was too short! and i was lik reallie?.. yeah. he said my legs were too muscular. yepz. he was just being nice. too nice to tell me that i'm fat. yesh. i noe most of you would think i'm not that fat. yeah i noe. but yet i am fat. darrell's 65 andre'z 59. my er kor who is 175 is 61.9 and my da kor who is my height is 62. *da kor was surprised that he was heavier den er kor. he attributed it to reservice puttin on muscles.. haha i think he'z rite. anywayz. so i think 62 might be still a little fat. after i am the youngest and the girl in the family. so i guess under 60 would be nice. *i hope my broz dun loose weight.. i think they will be my bench mark.

yesh jelaine is being lik any other stereotypical girl out there who lets herself be defined by societal standard on what is acceptable and what is not. i'm sorry if you don't lik it that i'vescummed to the standard set by the insane world which we call humanity. i'll try my best not to let this stupid numbers to get to me. it would be an outright lie to tell you i just want to be healthy. if i reach 52 someone should really stop me. maintaining is another story altogether.

67.2

_______ SATURDAY

2007-04-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

It should be called something like Remberance Saturday, after all there is lik a Good Friday and an Easter Sunday, even the Thursday is called Moarning Thursday... So Saturday should get a name. heh.

I've seen Andre and Darrell 2 days in a row. that's a record considering we aren't studying together any more.. heh.. its going to be slightly weird now especially since i'm not goin to be flanked by those 2.. ar wellz.. have fun at army you guys.. :)

yepz. so i went down to andre'z farewell party yesterday before good friday service. lik -.- farewell to? his hair i suppose. *yesh now you noe how gay they actually are.. lol. saw he'z christian fellowship pple there.. and i realised one thing. that hey. there'z politics there too. haha. so much about wanting to fit in and wad not. i mean i am sure, that if i were there i would want to be in the in crowd too.. shrugs.

aniwaez i ended up pullin a late nighter making darrell'z tiramisu cake. i was almost a disaster. we decided to use the new mixer because we tot it would be less time consuming. however it turns out that the cream is too delicate or sumthing coz it ended up being a watery patch with lumps. i ended up manually beating it and thankfully was salvaged. snuck into bed at 3. rarh. considering that i woke up at 6 that day to shao mu and rushing here and there i would say it was rather tiring.

so we went down to tony roma's to have ribs. STUPID DARRELL. MADE ME TAKE A CAB DOWN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he was late! lik an hr late! rarh. okie i shan't harp on it coz we celebrated his birthday today. yeaps. walked around den went off for yf. and left early to meet zk pw mich and wen. :)

i lurve toking to them . lik the whole group of them. we kept laughing so hard at the restratuant dat lik before we could ask for anything the waiters knew what we want! lol. STUIPD ZHIKANG! insulted my religion again!!! he really should noe better so i ended up holding he'z wallet, phone and car keys hostage. heh. i slowly returned them to him but almost drove he'z horrendously lao pok car off. go get a new one alreadY!

we den crashed xinyi'z place coz peiwen was staying with her .. haha watched blood diamondS! lik finally. oh man it was a good show. i wished i caught it in the cinemas. its not your typical happy ending story. i like. yeahz. i think i'm goin to watch the departed too although i've already watch wu jian dao. heh due to my language barrier i think i'll get a clearer pic if i watched the english version.

actually looking back these past few days make me realise how ironic things actually are. lik why do we always celebrate qing ming jie around easter sunday? today was another eye opener to the world, lik can you imagine growing up in some conditions that people have to? what sets myself apart from otherS? what make me so full of myself that i think that i should have more, deserve more?

ohz today was a pig out day. gained weight. irritating. hiax. i lik the feelin of losing weight. right now its the only achievement that defines me. coz well there'z nothing else to do. i'm guessing its not too healthy a mindset.

there'z church tmr. i shan't repeat the same fiasco i had on friday.

68.2

parallel universe

2007-04-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

If you could trade one thing about yourself for another what will it be?

This qns has been stuck in my head for wells, mostly today. And i guess i would want to be more discipline and less arrogant.

Anyways, went down to play bball tonite. It was fun, coz there weren't too many of us so we got to play all the time. Yepx, apparently i was aggressive, i tot i was just rough, i can't find a balance btwn cheong-ing and just well slacking. yepz.

Decided to hitch a ride to the market and lik grab a drink, and just to reiterate how totally not in sync i am with the pple there. so i'm wondering how everything else started, and well figuring how i am suppose to at least try to be in sync with them. I guess all i can say is that when doctrine is pit against fellowship, doctrine is more impt.

Seriously, seriously. i feel lik kicking some pple'z arses now just coz they are jerks. lik

i think its about time to stop celebrating my birthday. coz after awhile you realise that it slightly meaningless to do so. please remind me that i said that.

goin back to how i hate initiating stuff.. i think i should stop being so vocal. but i can't help it when i'm with pple i lik lol. yeah but most of the time i think i'm just too rash. i hate it. btw i only lik planning stuff with ONE person in particular. dunno if she knows its her though. shrugs.

i need to go off now. haven't done QT in 4 days. okie make that 5.

ohz my dad just asked me to eat a mars bar ice cream. i told him he'z crazy, its lik how late. he said its to fatten me up. lik okie. i'm fat enough. and i'll do that only when i'm lik 40 an under or sumthing, which i think is too thin and the only way to achieve that is to be anorexic or bulimic. SERIOUSLY.

67.7

addicted to caffine

2007-04-02T18:52:00.000+08:00

I am Happy. Just needed to state that.

Okie.. i've actually no mood to blog now. I had during work but i couldn't and i can't remember what i really want to say. But since my com is up, and i have missed the clicking of this keyboard so much.. i decided to blog anywayz.

Yeps its about redundant stuff. If you all haven't figured out. Jaz was the one who helped me with the skin. i might go try other skins now. but dang i've to go find them again. coz i saved the link on the laptop. btw this skin is the orange pinkish one. the background is cool but i think the pic of the girl is abit too i dunno bimbo? lol. ironic huh? yepz. i'll try to change it to another one by myself. but if i can't i dun mind sticking to this either.

wen tng dao-ed me. and dada do u not want me to go down with u? i totally okie if u said yesh.

ohz i'm still worrying. bout the auz uni applications thingy. i half dun want to go down coz i dunno as much as i lurve the new experience living independently abroad.. if actually scares me half to death too. so i bahz.

orph called YESTERDAY.. to scold me for not puttin my name down in the discretionary applications for both nus and ntu. HONESTLY, i'm not that special. i mean yeah. i've joined YAH and i did alot of charity work.. but it was done half-heartedly and i think its a safe bet that the activity and i are not well-buddies. So USING the namesake exco-member of YAH, a volunteery oraganisation under the HBP youth initiated programme makes me feel slightly how would you put it hypocritical? no that's not the word okie i can't find a better word than awkward. yepz. but if she gets in a i don't... .. .. .. she is rite. i'd probably regret it again. but i tried. i couldn't find the link last nite. lame excuse. i noe. i don't care. i WILL appeal.

hmm other den dat. hmm yeah i think i need to learn how to kick the habit of drinking coffe/tea. coz seriously it affects not only my level of energy but also my mood. i blame it on As. when i LIVED on coffee. rarh.

okie.. bouncing off now..

68.2

The 13th Sabbath

2007-04-01T15:30:00.000+08:00

The weather is perfect and the only thing fit for it is to sleep.

My mind was wondering during the message today. I caught bits of the sermon which made me amuse and i saw clearer why some pple would actually detest the church. *shrugs.

Anywayz i was wondering what happened to us before we were born. As in were our souls in heaven praising the almighty Lord before we were sent down to earth for this trail? and if so. innately we all should thus remember that there is a God and would actually know which God it was. However, my presumption is that our physical mind cannot comprehend our once spiritual life and thus have deviated. Oh wait. this is wrong issin't it? okie my second theory is that I think that we were just created out of nothing-ness. That should be it rite? Like all of a sudden a soul is born. and we have been implanted into the womb with simply the hand of God. I'm amused. Really i am. I never thought that we were actually suppose to find out how things work. think about it. Don't u think its miraculous that from just 2 nucleus a creature is born? i should not phatom how things work and reasons behind it. what i do hope is that when i get to heaven (although we will probably be just singing praises all day long..) is that we have lik theology classes and maybe even a class called God's philosophy. I mean wouldn't it be cool just to noe how He thought and how it really all started?? hmm okie. maybe its just me. and i have to satisfy my curiosity from the Bible which states: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."Gen 1:1. I'm not questioning his history. well not exactly. I'm questioning bout ours, or more specifically mine. And how he came up with it. I really do hope with have dialouges in Heaven. Wishful thinking? might be.

Goin on.. coincidentally joy has the same handbag which wendy and sheila bought for me.. but it was in brown. apparently her aunt bought it for her. and ohz the 88 babes got me a present. :) thank you! its lik this really nice. i prefer the earrings though.. lol :P

hmm i lurve to read books that make me think, or for that matter reflect about stuff.. lik how one writer puts it. " I make myself crazy, because this is what I want them to think." It sends a jolt home. lik what i've actually been doing nowadays. i think i should stop it. unless this is really me. then i've nothing to say bout myself but that i'm dat shallow.

i want to shop today. wendy tng and i have clashing time tables. it makes me a bit sad. but haha. i think i did enough shoppin yesterday. hmm maybe i should go take my advice and go sleep.. either dat or i'll try to upload the new skin myself now and see if i am able to.

68.8

COLOUR ME PINK

2007-03-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

WHEE!!!!!!!!!
i'm in a splendid mood today. all smiles around to those in need. here'z the bubbly couldn't care less me today. aka, bimbooooo!! heh :):):)

okie lets start lets start.. :)

driving lessons were a blast today. i learnt how to parallel park. its somehow a skill that girls find hard to master but i'm inspired to nail it. i think it goes sumthin lik this: one round left, one round right, two rounds left, two rounds right. tadah. you have your parrallel parked car.

met wendy today to go down to watch peiwen cat walk. @.@ i noe wad u all are thinking.. how can our lovely pw do a catwalk rite? more lik a sotong walk.. and i should be the one stalking down the stage heh. but okie she looks hot in her lioness hairstyle.. *copyrighted from me heh. anywayz she named herself CHARDONNA.. no. its not charlotte and donna put together (lik spuffy.. hee i see per throwin can drinks at my head.. :P ) but she was inspired by the white wine name chardonnay.. LIK WWAAAATTT. wendy was saying XO is so much easier to remember.. lol.. ar wellz.. i still think your name should be SOTONG!

anywayz. i did loads of shoppin today. :} i lurve.

i ended up getting.
concealer
makeup remover cleanser form
moisturiser with spf
2 shirts

okie. the 2 shirts are slightly bimbotic. one says i got A+ for shoppin and the other says you caught me at a bad time. i'm tempted to wear them tmr to church but i think that they might be slightly too bimbo/disrespectful in church.. so i dunno.. i'm still considering.

i went google eyed at nike coz i saw this really cute tennis skirt. hee. its almost 60 bucks. i was thinkin that i might be too poser to wear it.. and furthermore its so ex. and then the towels there are lik cool too! haha.. yepz.. and i ALMOST got a hot pink top.. but that was lik 60 too.. so yeps a bit too steep..

hmm i was removing my makeup and realised that the facial wipes kinda eats into my skin a bit.. it may be cause i kinda press really hard when i use it.. or i just have sensitive skin.. i think i'm goin to get the missha makeup remover soon.. esp at the rate i'm using makeup now. lik really. TWICE in a week. somebody gag me.

okie another i lurve is the hair clip my tween got for me .. its lik really nice..*muack !! i think i'll use it when i clip my hair up the next time i see u guys :) another i lurve piece is the white handbag.. from wendy dear and sheila! thank u * i got another white handbag from wendy .. i see if u can keep this up. every yr give me a white handbag okie! haha.. i lurve.

hmm jaz is being the kindest soul ever. she'z goin to help me revamp my blog lik soon.. *heh maybe lik tmr! i soo lurve her. okie.. maybe i'll call her tmr and get her to guide me step by step.. so lik i can do it again by myself.. heh.. yeah i can't choose btwn 2 of them. they are both glam, and a touch of bimbo. one is lik more zi lian and hoa lian. i.e the pinkish orange one. and one'z colder.. i.e the grey skin. i'm think in that i should get the lighter skin just coz then when i'm lookin at my skin i'm not so emotionally entrenched to write more depressed things coz lighther colours means happier moods rite? hee.. please ignore my weird perception.

okie i'm off now.. i'm goin to link peiwen'z vid at her catwalk tonite. enjoy and do luff ur hearts out. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QFJR_yuMVA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0grIQDWpE0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?=NtTv4Zzs_D0

can't remember why there'z 3 . there'z a fourth. i didn't bother to link that.. i think 2 is on pw and 1 is on leon---cute guy. :P i dunno.. i can't check out the link.. coz my laptop is slightly retarded and can't load it. bahz.

boring life.

2007-03-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

i'm officially 1 yr and 2 days older than i was on 27 mar 06. okie. that's lame. but that's also true.

my life is really a bore. i'm not exactly complaining, i guess i'm just stating. after all these yrs.. its still the same old story bout a girl. sometimes i wished that i could fit in more and perhaps to be more involved but at other times i feel mostly apathetic.

i've this tenadacy to be more reserved when i'm alone. its a phenonmenon i'm trying to figure out. i find it really funny that most of my jc friends think that i'm this super independent person who lik is strong willed and happy go lucky. i'm guessin my facade is good. i don't feel the need to socialize anymore. and i think it will be downfall. i'm not sure. but i've an inkling that life is not gonna be happening. it may seem to be that way.. but i doubt i'll actually feel it.

thankz to all the pple who sent me birthday greetings.. esp u babes.. i'm sure u noe who u are.

hmm the things which elated me were that i've got my barun buffel wallet, my vandalised phone, dinner at a jap restaraunt... and yesh. my pierced. it still hurts when i put the alcohol though. heh. okie i won't whine. thanks again all u peeps. esp jaz for finally draggin me down.. btw i found some one else who i might just hate more by making run back after bballing. heh. no wait. i take that back.

i'm not relieved that i've applied for nus and ntu. i've got smu to go. i just have to copy and paste my essay. but still i can't pin the exact thing that makes me worried. maybe its just life. ah heck. i should just take it as it comes.

btw i'm not dumb. but i'm rather curt. and mostly hope that i still speak my mind, another trait that i currently feel is worth changing. its one thing to actually believe what your horoscope says.. its another thing to find it coincidental rite?? anywayz. aries are suppose to be initiators.. and supposedly LIKE to take charge. well i am an initiator. but i kinda detest it now. so why do they insist that that i like doing it? go figure. *randomness i noe. i tend to be lik dat now.

room'z in a mess. its late and there'z work tmr. serene has warned me that there'z only filing to do. there'z febc tmr. haven't studied. maybe i should run and study tmr morning. rite.

i've not gettin any good rest lately. i wake up at least twice every nite. its irritating. maybe i should take sum sleepin pills. i attribute it to me worrying bout things that i dunno what i'm woryring about.

hmm i'm readin the jodi picoult book now.. the deaver one can just fly back. oh.. i think u guys should stop linkin me. i think someone i didn't want to find out bout this place found it. and its slightly irksome. yeepz.

gotta go down to pioneer soon. i want to play badminton and i need to pass sum stuff to my jrs. i wonder if you guys have training this fri. i might skip dot k or issit daugt k or just .k? heck i might just miss girl'z contact grp this fri just coz zi bi-ing is so much easier. i hate sharing. i hate sharing to pple i'm not particularly close with and i dun exactly want them to noe what i'm thinking. hmm that's sumthing i might want to keep goin though. maybe its my security issue ah wellz. i'm not a shrink and i so can't analyze myself. *although i try to.

i don't think i'm dat depressed. at least not now. i just think my mood tends to stay in a shade slightly darker than the usual grey. when i'm out now.. all i want pple to see is hot pink. if not i think that my personality'z more of a dirty greenish-grey. weird huh. how i relate my moods to colours. i'm starting to lik red. the cool kind of red. i.e my faded toe nails colour. which reminds me that i have take the nail polish off. hmm maybe tmr.

my hair's too thick. but i promised myself i won't cut it till june.

Life is not a fairy tale.

2007-03-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

i get that.
i'm sure most pple now get that too..
but why do we still want it to be one?
if we know this fact..
then why do we still grumble when things don't turn out the way we want to?
its puzzling.

i say live and let be.
strive for the best.
regret none.
and let the rest be handle by Him.

but why can't some pple get that?
stop asking when you noe the obvious ans.
i can't stand pple who lack the skill of listening.
as in seriously negative potential of doing that.
they suck.

anywayz. i found my exact exit plan from education in singapore.
no applause please. as much as i want to go. i dunno if i should go.
heard of anu? i doubt.
noe where is canberra?
you see..
but anywayz i'm quite satisfied that i went down to change my application to a double degree.. finace and sci . btw is there a diff in combined and double degree.. *crosses fingers

next step. apply for local U.
after dat. figure how much it costs to go to anu.
i suspect it'll be sumthing lik 150-200k *gulps

got a really bad paper cut today when i tried to tear the carpark coupon. more lik cardboard cut. its rather deep.. and it hurts!

okie. i didn't run. i'm goin to run tmr morning.
i'm goin to date alot of pple out for my birthday!

hee.. i'm high thinkin bout it.
anyone knows when momo is flying?
go down to send her?

TGIF

2007-03-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

Please excuse me if my thoughts are not sorted and everything comes out in point form.. i dunno what's eating me.. i'm just jittery. no one's fault in particular.. and then again maybe its just my fault ar wellz.

Lets start off with my highly irritating computer. Its WONKY. Electrical instruments around me never tend to function at its fullest capacity. maybe its a mutual disregard for the other, and often one side is at the losing end. yepz. my com is having mood swings. on days which i do not intend on using the com much it works perfectly fine.. and on the days i do however it chooses irk to me by just stonning. fine. that's how handy a laptop is.

okie. i managed to watch 2 movies this week.. music and lyrics and stomp the yard. both are good.. i especially loved the reverse elbow stand.it totally rocks! wouldn't it be cool if i could do that too? heh. i'd probably break my neck trying though. :P which reminds me i tried to flip a skate board the other day and i ended up bruising my ankle ar wellz.. serves me rite.

hmm okie office is officially a bore. SOMEONE complained about me slacking. and since my superior is scared of being scolded i've to be an obediant little girl and do work 24/7. bahz. i dun lik tattletales.

okie. i hear the footsteps or terror, the breathing of detest.. i await in silent mediatation in hopes that the fury will pass, with me unharmed. * u dun need to noe who was that.

lets see. ohs i want to noe why i feel so irk and stupid little things.. you noe how when pple take advantage of your kindness without repaying.. or worse stepping on you coz you seem to be mellable. i noe i'm suppose to be better than all this and lik let them do whatever they want. but its one thing to not say it.. and another thing to actually be bothered by such events. this has resulted me turning into a bitch. maybe its too strong a word. but the recesses of my brain are currently empty hence the lack of vocab. yepz. i managed to stepped back on someone today. i dun feel good that i did it. but i felt that it was necessary so that i won't get stepped on again. but i can just hear that person calling me names lik insensitive ungrateful bitch. lik i said i lack vocab. yepz. it actually hurts that the person would think of me this way. but then i would think i deserve it. so i should just quit whinning rite?

But i wonder why i have the tenacity to allow myself to stoop so low. and why i would be so selfish in lettin myself behave in such a manner. it is surely a lack of discipline. but honestly i would not be happy if it continued on. so i figured that, wouldn't it be better to be curt and give an outright hurtful decision rather than to do the correct decision and murmur about it? baarrrhhzz.. i dunno. i've been through this once. luckily this time the situation is not a big one.

i'm only sure of one thing--- i'm NOT NICE. i probably can strive to be. and maybe i should. let me just experiment on trying to be nice, and not being nice at all. i'll make my decision den.

other useless mundane things that happened includes gettin my new top with dydy. which i'm totally pysched .. i'm probably goin to get both barun buffale wallets.. and 2 hand bags. @.@ that would cost me lik 300 bucks.

hmm did i mention my handphone is back at samsung service centre? yepz for the crack. i'm really too destructive for my own good. i sent it back the first time barely 2 weeks when i first bought it .. and now..after only slightly over a month i had to send it back . hmm. it means only 2 things.. the phone is too fragile.. and i should be more careful. in an attempt to be just that.. i'm goin to go design sum stuff on my cover to give more value to my phone in hopes of this psycological barrier it will bring and hence make me more careful with it now.

which reminds me to ask dada to tell me why studying psycology is not a good path to go down.. coz i might want to do a double degree.. and that would be one of the areas i'm interested in.

hmm.. that's yf retreat these 2 days.
politics. i guess it makes life more fun. hur.

i found out sumthing on monday that i really really didn't noe. and you can't blame a girl for her intuition. its a bit bewildering. but hey i think its super plausible.

oh yah.. back to next weekend and organisin a badminton outing.. hmm i dunno i need to talk to my parents about it.. and rite now they are being very irritating coz they keep askin me to sign up for my courses. someone in the office is doin the same thing. so stop askin. i still need to think. i dun think i've tot enough. and i need the bloody time to think.

have i mention how i love this laptop?! for saving me from my com? yepz. just needed to re-illiterate that.

i need to change my prac date.
do i really want to fly to aus?
am i really business material?
what other things can i do?
what can i become?
do i noe what i really want?

these are the FEW but rather pressing issues bothering at the moment.
goin back to the intuition thing.. they say just become a tai tai. i'm not about to ask who the potential target is. i think i noe who they are thinkin of.

what do i think? i think the above things at the moment are more important than this.

i want to play badminton
i want to play squash
i want to play tennis
i don't mind swimming
and maybe even running
but golfing?! i'm starting to detest.

that's another stupid pressing qns i forgot to list. if i should continue on with golfing lessons. btw. its a highly technical sport that takes more concentration than any other sport i've learnt thus far. its weird ain't it? coz you are techincally using a stick to whack a stationary ball.. now how hard can that get? you don't want to noe.. esp if you are not gifted and dun have the passion for it.

btw i realised that standing up staright is a good place to start if i want to change my imagine.. so anyone of you all can come up to me and lik do that spine straightening thing... heh..

self denial= self preservation?

ditZzy

2007-03-06T15:44:00.000+08:00

hoho.. i'm currently at work.. and since no one is watchin behind my back i'm attempting a once in a life time risk- bloggin at work. lol.

oh wellz. i've only filing to do and that's way too boring, thus the urge to blog arose.

i've deicded that this week for me will be kind of ditzzy for me because i've arranged to many outings and have no time to do quiet mediatation. heh.

i ended up painting my nails last nite till 330 am due to the vanilla latte at starbucks. i lurve it. the coffee.. the nails well.. lets just hope you pple will get to see it before i become too embarrassed by it. (ms flirt suddenly pops into mind :P) the colours i bought at sasa were disappointing. the red was clear, and the purple was pink. i ended up mixing the purple with the red i already have. i think its a bit too womanly.. but its actually a colour i like.. but not used to. :) its a tat rich though.. will be trying to look for a shade milder.

i've decided on a mission for my holidays- getting out of the country (preferably climbing a small mountain/ bag packing) & gettin to noe my da kor more and hopefully manage to persuade him to do the former with me! yaY!

i'm goin to make a wishlist. i realised that i want a tonne of things. maybe coz i want to change my image.. or actually get one to begin with. heh.

i can feel myself actually gettin more and more superficial. ar wellz. i've decided that it'll be a ditzzy week anywayz.

ohz.. i want to go down for smu and nus open houses.. anyone free?!

self denial = self preservation?

brooding over life. is not healthy.

2007-03-03T20:28:00.000+08:00

JC life finally feels over.

Pioneer has never been home. It was just what it is --- an institution to get a credited visa into a university. The experience was humbling to say the least.

Its stupid to compare. Especially when the bench mark is not with yourself but rather the peers that you admire or thought you were inspired by.

I'm glad i'm still holding on to faith for though as escapist as this might sound at least there is a whole bigger plan out there.

Alienated. Restricted. Cynical.
As superficial as this is, i feel that being from a 3rd world JC, as what we are called, have little prospect in getting what we want. Maybe its because we don't exactly know what it is yet or its our incapablity to be more than just ordinary or maybe even being just plain old lazy. This phenomenon tends to lead to the creation of an uninspired mainstream person who would not be deem as "successful". Or maybe because we are not seen to be in the "in" crowd which have influences, strings, finances, reputations which gives us an edge over the blend faces among the crowd. Maybe i'm talking to generally and thus should refer this to me.

What's wrong with just being average then?
Everything is wrong.
Society is too compatitive for its own good. At least i think so. We hail achievements as much as we need to feed ourselves. We can't ignore it for we live in this society and thus undoubtedly feel pressured and insignificant to the above average minority who somehow manages to catch everyone attention.

How do we average pple proceed from here?
I have a notion. To be happy where we are.
Its plausible. But often a path we choose not to take. Who can blame us for wanting to be something or a somebody? Or for that matter realising that our better counterparts have stolen our hopes and dreams. Its not their fault I noe.

Grasping this theory is starting to hurt. Especially when you conclude that you can only slog on. Make yourself be seen and heard if you choose to be. It takes effort which I do not konw if its worth. Be grateful for at least you are among the majority.

I dunno why i ended up toking bout this. Because i actually wanted to blog about privacy of blogs. And how a single entry here is not enough to judge a person because they are ranting. Its frustrating when someone you noe reads this and criticize your thoughts your feelings your opionions. Because afterall we are entitled to the liberty of our own freedom. Some may say that this right should not cross being insensitive to others or even being a stubbling block. I agree to a certain extent.

If you want to discriminate and be discriminated by all means write heartless insensitive remarks.

But to anlayse a situation and expressing it by the only revelant way of blogging should not result in scrutiny from, - i dunno people? For its one thing to let your friends, (by friends i mean those who actually care) to know what you think and another thing when you just want to be heard.

Go find dada. I'm sure she has a more insightful and entertaining thoughts on this.

I'm going to study my career guidance book. Just because i know i'm still lost and no one seems to be able help. And when i mean no one it doesn't include God. Cos he not just no one. *why do i even bother to justify my statements now. i'm trying to be as uncensored as possible.

mediocre

2007-03-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

bbc b3. my results were unhappily expected. but thank God. Before the As started.. the realistic goal was to get ABB. but i screwed my maths by leaving 20 mks blank. and i guess that was too much to be redeem to even get a B. gp i'm happily satisfied.

i didn't cry before my results. *thanks to chan. i didn't cry after i got my results. i cried when i got home.

i felt disheartened when i asked my family whether i did okie. they said i did okie. i felt sad because they expected me to do worse. or maybe coz i realised that they dun have too much hope in me. its just hurting.

i must thank mdm ong for the last push she gave us for phy. though reluctant we found her and bugged her. mr chong was essential as well coz chan well lets put it as not too effective. mr kwok is a soul i must thank for at least giving me a spark of interest in gp.ms chew and ms xiao who were always a phone call away.. and linda. unlike my mom who blames u for my unfortunate and untimely blank out was really only my fault to begin with.

i hope my friends are in a better mood than i am. and once again this has proved that i can't stay and study alone. i can't be forgiving when i'm under pressure and i hold grudges for too long.

i feel half the world has better results than i do. and the other half have the same results that i do.

i was a nervous wreck though. my classmates deicded to watch norbit before we got back our results. i tot it was stupid and an utter waste of eight bucks.

accountancy is a bit out of the qns. but i guess that's a good thing. i think i'll die becomin an accountant for its far too dry.

i met up with wen. i'm glad i did. i finally got my jeans from esprit thank u for being so patient. i decided to get the jeans which a size smaller as an incentive to make me lose weight and look better in them. i think that might be slightly dumb. but i guess that's another one of my trying-to-be-encouraging-to-myself in-a-weird-kind-of-way-me. my phone got bend i've no idea how. she was commentin that i look tired. i must be. i have not been sleepin well the pass few nitez.

i feel amazingly drain and rite now depressed. my dad gave me a 50 for every b. i said i got a b3 for gp when both my bros got a b4. so i have a 150 now. i asked my da kor bout it. he said he didn't get that kind of money. i feel sad for him. i realised my dad can't be all that sad. coz i got the same grades as da kor. he and i both wanted better grades but we got the same. my dad told me once that he was disappointed that i got 239 for psle. he tot i'd do better then my da kor. i didn't bother to ask him bout my 15pts. i could see that he was anything but happy. and i think my results now just satisfies him that i'm not screwed up.

i seriously had no confindence in actually gettin my results. so i'm half relived that they dun suck that badly.

goin down to career fair with dada tmr.

there'z driving tmr. i'm happy. or i am slightly happy. i think i should go yf tmr to thank God.

sunny day out

2007-02-24T13:07:00.000+08:00

I've only been working for a month and i'm already tired of working. Which is quite scary considering that i'll have to do this all my life in the near future. I was actually thinking of what i would lik to do for a living and suprisingly i actually kinda knew what it was. i think its probably called a music producer or sumthing? where u blend in sounds create harmonies and all that kinda stuff? but the prospects are quite poor in s'pore.. wait. does that mean i should go to mass comm?? haix stressful questions ..

ohz.. guess wad?! i just recieved my first pay! LALALA!!! i'm so happy! hehz.. not much though but still happy. it kinda helps me off set the 152 bucks i spent at topshop. :)

i went out last nite to get my salad for lunch.. and i'm sad to say i can't make vinegarette dressing. it sucks. so i ended up having some thousand island.. heh. and u noe wad jaz? i saw the grapeseed oil thing at ntuc.. its cheaper than olive oil u noe.. lol

i just found a salsa trial begginer's class.. wondering if there'z interested souls.. more specically dydy.. :P

i didn't go swim today and i haven't been running. hiax. and i still dunno wad to do with my driving instructor.

i feel that i'm full of energy and i need somewhere to release it..

i wish i knew

2007-02-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

today started out fine.
after awhile i decided that slackin at home was appropriate.. but i got called out by wendy and had afternoon tea with her which was fun.. and a drama story which ended sadly. i then got out of the house for bball. i wished i stayed longer and had supper with them.

but i'm not close with them. and i don't intend to impose my prescense. i dunno why i feel so detached. and i feel lik i would want to be closer to them. but they give off an aura that i guess is called intimidating? i dunno . but yet. i wished i stayed. because i dread the tension here.

i dunno how to improve the situation. i dunno how to voice my opinion.

btw my bball skills suck.

i'm thinkin of changing my instructor. coz he doesn't have a good record. i need someone to tok to. i dunno who to turn.

i wonder if i can cross the line.

bored

2007-02-19T17:13:00.000+08:00

I think i'm starting to despise chinese new year. which issin't a good thing. i guess its 'cause that more and more things are done out of formality rather than the joy of actually seeing your relatives. *shrugs.

i finally managed to get a tag board up. and i'll admit that i was more lazy and ignorant when it comes to the works of computers coz its actually very easy to put it up. (finds jaz starring.. :P )

ar wellz i haven't packed my room for chinese new yr.. my couz are coming over tmr. i guess i'll do it tmr? haha.. and i haven't study for my final theory which is on the day after. bahz should get down to studying that.. i'm goin off to my uncle'z house later where there will be foundo! oh manz! my waist! ohz i'm sad.. i put on another 2 kg. *sniff sniff.

i feel very enclosed in my thoughts now. dun see babes on a regular basis to gossip and laugh at stupid things.. haha.. i hope that i'll be able to go to sheila's place next sun .. and i hope all u babes will be there too..

i want to invite pple to my house.. esp for my bdae.. but my living room now'z lik small and cramp so i dunno whether i can fit pple in.. my room.. although it should be bigger now looks much smaller so can't fit many pple here either.. oh wellz. i guess u guys can't come over. :(

there'z a million and one things i want to do during these holidays actually.. lik gettin a scuba diving liscense driving liscense and wad not. can you believe that i've not stepped out of singapore ever since after As! its so bewildering! *no the cruise does not count. i didn't lik it at all.

yeah i guess i should go get ready to go out.. ohz. i'm half happy that i went to swim today :)

finally a new blog

2007-02-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

i'm tongue tied rite now.
i am still looking forward to the tinkerbell thing jaz has.
i am not planning to link anyone here but you guys can link me.
i need to get a tag board up, but i dunno how.
i want to get those funky blogskins.