Saturday, March 3, 2007
JC life finally feels over.
Pioneer has never been home. It was just what it is --- an institution to get a credited visa into a university. The experience was humbling to say the least.
Its stupid to compare. Especially when the bench mark is not with yourself but rather the peers that you admire or thought you were inspired by.
I'm glad i'm still holding on to faith for though as escapist as this might sound at least there is a whole bigger plan out there.
Alienated. Restricted. Cynical.
As superficial as this is, i feel that being from a 3rd world JC, as what we are called, have little prospect in getting what we want. Maybe its because we don't exactly know what it is yet or its our incapablity to be more than just ordinary or maybe even being just plain old lazy. This phenomenon tends to lead to the creation of an uninspired mainstream person who would not be deem as "successful". Or maybe because we are not seen to be in the "in" crowd which have influences, strings, finances, reputations which gives us an edge over the blend faces among the crowd. Maybe i'm talking to generally and thus should refer this to me.
What's wrong with just being average then?
Everything is wrong.
Society is too compatitive for its own good. At least i think so. We hail achievements as much as we need to feed ourselves. We can't ignore it for we live in this society and thus undoubtedly feel pressured and insignificant to the above average minority who somehow manages to catch everyone attention.
How do we average pple proceed from here?
I have a notion. To be happy where we are.
Its plausible. But often a path we choose not to take. Who can blame us for wanting to be something or a somebody? Or for that matter realising that our better counterparts have stolen our hopes and dreams. Its not their fault I noe.
Grasping this theory is starting to hurt. Especially when you conclude that you can only slog on. Make yourself be seen and heard if you choose to be. It takes effort which I do not konw if its worth. Be grateful for at least you are among the majority.
I dunno why i ended up toking bout this. Because i actually wanted to blog about privacy of blogs. And how a single entry here is not enough to judge a person because they are ranting. Its frustrating when someone you noe reads this and criticize your thoughts your feelings your opionions. Because afterall we are entitled to the liberty of our own freedom. Some may say that this right should not cross being insensitive to others or even being a stubbling block. I agree to a certain extent.
If you want to discriminate and be discriminated by all means write heartless insensitive remarks.
But to anlayse a situation and expressing it by the only revelant way of blogging should not result in scrutiny from, - i dunno people? For its one thing to let your friends, (by friends i mean those who actually care) to know what you think and another thing when you just want to be heard.
Go find dada. I'm sure she has a more insightful and entertaining thoughts on this.
I'm going to study my career guidance book. Just because i know i'm still lost and no one seems to be able help. And when i mean no one it doesn't include God. Cos he not just no one. *why do i even bother to justify my statements now. i'm trying to be as uncensored as possible.
kickin' [20:28]
