its been a long time since i've seen such a beautiful sunset. today, while walking home, the most wonderful blue painted the background of the sky, the reflection of the sun from the various clouds were dusted in shades of orange, pink and a little red. mixed with the purple of the on coming night and the last yellow rays of the sun, indeed it was a sight to behold. it reminded me the times wehre my mom brought me to west coast park... i remebered standing on the top of the slide where it was the top of the world, nothing else mattered.. gazing.. lost.. in its wonder.. how the sun sinks into the horizon of the sea and how it would never fail to come up again. it made me remember of the carefree years, and the little things that made me happy. i had the urge to run to the park. just to see the sun set finally, below the sea, but i stopped myself. for i knew it was not to be. No more are the simple joys of an old fashioned slide, no more of the untouched horizon of the sea. stupid psa. but its alright times change, places change, i changed. i want my childhood back ....

today's birthday was really nice.. managed to celebrate with alot of pple.. from my family,floor mates,joy.. and finally jaz and pearl ((:

i feel blessed to have so many friends who cared.. especially to everyone of you who chose to bring me a smile by wishing me a happy brithday.. (: it honestly feels like a stark contrast to what i felt last yr. so a big thank you.

ate jap food with my family .. sukiyaki and tepanyaki.. ate like a pig.. and i'm glad to get more jap food with pearl and jaz who treated me! yay! we cam whore or (hored? lol)with her new camera. and checked out the hip hop classes ((:

yeng cindy and francine walked all the way out to fong seng to buy a cupcake (:
da kor got me the rum and cherry cake against my wishes for a banana choc.. thanks anyways.. daddy paid for dinner..is going to pay for clothes and still gives me money. thanks.
jas and per gave me a brown handbag and the retardedly cute coin mouth eater which is pink.. kills you guys. and mr anonymous will still remain anonymous.
thanks joy for breakfast.. for covering for this blur toot who walked out w/o paying and only realising it 1/2 hr later.. bahhss.. breakfast was too early lol.
thanks to pple like mommy and charrisa (who conveniently forgot to put her name) who msg me all the way from down under..
thanks to pple like gloria and orph who posted on facebook (but i've not checked.. saw the email..)
and thanks to the countless of pple.. like caleb joshua lysa mel sheryl, to m chaing, zy, serene, to angeline, andrew, to christina andre darrell mich, to wen tng liling pei yuling, to cheryl pok dydy yiting sheila zhi kai to andy nus sherlyn janice cassandra crystal, to andy couz to my family.. thank you ((:

now all i need is my high up place from which i can see the sea, to the sun that rises and den sets, to remember the magnificent hands that made it, and that nothing in this world will remind unchanged. thank you ((:



stubbornness, arrogance, resentfulness, critical, unforgiving, grudgingly, ignorance, un-respectable, irresponsible.
escapism, vices, drunk.
what happened to all the love? i should have known better..



i'm much better today (:
cooked mushroom soup.. mmm MMM! yeah. made a little mistake here and there.. lik how i ended up cooking 1 whole pot of it due to my bad sense of proportion lol. yeps but it tasted kinda nice ! yeah.. and yesh perr its just a modification of momo's reciepe.. so you should try it too (:

got really jealous coz my da kor tried on my shoes (yesh my feet are as big as his) and he looked better in them than i do ! puu-eei.. haha all the more i need to start running lots.

kaiz haven't started studying for today and still need to pack my room. just wanted to say that lunch was nice today YaY! and i'm glad i stayed home. *hugs



i've been a bad christian lately. haix.
so hi pple.. haven't really be here in a bit. my depressing mood is still hanging around, although i think its gotten a little better.
the couple of weeks ahead should be tonnes of fun.. but i still feel a little reserved. Lately, i have been slightly anti-social in hall, which in all truth should not be the case.
Caught up with dy dy today, its amazing how similar we are.. lol.. from our specs, to our shirts to our lame fathers. went down to our favourite haunt to mug a little, i only managed one chapter of reading. bahs. but its currently too late to continue..

got my new specs today.. went down to queensway to get my asics.. although they are really comfortable, they kinda are a bit ugly. ar wells..

the qns of the week is: am i too hard to please? in all honesty i think maybe its kinda true.

anyways, i think i'm goin to get crocs just coz they are really comfortable, kinda sad at the sorry state my feet are in now.. haven't been treating them with care..

these 2 weeks have kinda be stressful with test and projects due, kinda put on weight due to my bad habit of emotional eating.. arghs. thus the shoes.. lol..

just realised i've another mountain of work to do, i forgot i hid it behind the stormy clouds. den just beyond that is the tossing sea of final exams.. lalala.. mugger toad mugger toad.. i need to become a mugger toad..

k its pretty late, should try harder to keep my eyebags a bay.. but considering i sleep at around 230 everyday.. i shouldn't be in such a bad shape..



sometimes you are tired and you just want someone to be there. to hold you and say things that you know will help you through. to speak the thoughts you are too tired to utter. to understand the silence which resonates with your feelings.to tug at the corners and bring a little smile. to uncloud the misty picture and colouring the blanks. i'm hoping that day will come soon,so that i can be that person for you too.



I know that i'm a plaster,
but do you know that you're a knife?
stabbing, slicing, carving out
the little issues of life.

You see i'm only one plaster,
but you are just one knife
but scratching the same old wound again
would prove my usage useless

I try to step beyond
to see things a little further.
i really cannot understand
how you expect me to fit in.

I'm no longer in a bubble,
yes you made that very clear
but it really doesn't help
when there is a double standard

You've made the other bandages
all rot away
they can never help you out again
to repair the damage done

Now the rotten bandages
are turning into sharpen knives too
what am i suppose to do?
remain a plaster too?

the inevitable is happening
and yet you don't understand
the critisms affect the never healing wound.

you expect me to be the glue
but i don't know how to be that too
the pieces of the picture
has broken to unfittable edges.

the more i step away
the more i see it too
the endless abyss
forming right under my shoe.

Do you think I can't be affected?
Do you think I can remain neutral?
Do you know i'm no longer bright and cheery
but just as gloomy too?

I'm turning into a knife
no, i cannot be objective
Yes maybe it was a defect to begin with
but why continue to harp on it?

The wound too is not trying,
so easily infected,
but who would bother to even care
about a rotten piece of flesh?

My heart is all but dry.
I never knew it would hurt.
I never knew i cared so much
resigned to be aloof.

I don't know how to help.
I can't repair myslef.
How do you presume
I'm going to repair the others?

Is this what we have become?
So astrange to each other?
not caring, not bothering
destined to be apart.

jELaiNe
mARcH 27tH 1988
NUS

+BleAcH+ +BOnEs+
+ChoCoLATes+ +LicENse+
+HaPpYneSs+
+GreY's+ +HerOeS+
+SpICe+
+SuBs+ +PhoNE+ +SpEcS+
+ScRuBS+ +MakEOveR+ +WeiGHT+
+SpEcS+ +LuRVe+

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