Friday, March 16, 2007
Please excuse me if my thoughts are not sorted and everything comes out in point form.. i dunno what's eating me.. i'm just jittery. no one's fault in particular.. and then again maybe its just my fault ar wellz.
Lets start off with my highly irritating computer. Its WONKY. Electrical instruments around me never tend to function at its fullest capacity. maybe its a mutual disregard for the other, and often one side is at the losing end. yepz. my com is having mood swings. on days which i do not intend on using the com much it works perfectly fine.. and on the days i do however it chooses irk to me by just stonning. fine. that's how handy a laptop is.
okie. i managed to watch 2 movies this week.. music and lyrics and stomp the yard. both are good.. i especially loved the reverse elbow stand.it totally rocks! wouldn't it be cool if i could do that too? heh. i'd probably break my neck trying though. :P which reminds me i tried to flip a skate board the other day and i ended up bruising my ankle ar wellz.. serves me rite.
hmm okie office is officially a bore. SOMEONE complained about me slacking. and since my superior is scared of being scolded i've to be an obediant little girl and do work 24/7. bahz. i dun lik tattletales.
okie. i hear the footsteps or terror, the breathing of detest.. i await in silent mediatation in hopes that the fury will pass, with me unharmed. * u dun need to noe who was that.
lets see. ohs i want to noe why i feel so irk and stupid little things.. you noe how when pple take advantage of your kindness without repaying.. or worse stepping on you coz you seem to be mellable. i noe i'm suppose to be better than all this and lik let them do whatever they want. but its one thing to not say it.. and another thing to actually be bothered by such events. this has resulted me turning into a bitch. maybe its too strong a word. but the recesses of my brain are currently empty hence the lack of vocab. yepz. i managed to stepped back on someone today. i dun feel good that i did it. but i felt that it was necessary so that i won't get stepped on again. but i can just hear that person calling me names lik insensitive ungrateful bitch. lik i said i lack vocab. yepz. it actually hurts that the person would think of me this way. but then i would think i deserve it. so i should just quit whinning rite?
But i wonder why i have the tenacity to allow myself to stoop so low. and why i would be so selfish in lettin myself behave in such a manner. it is surely a lack of discipline. but honestly i would not be happy if it continued on. so i figured that, wouldn't it be better to be curt and give an outright hurtful decision rather than to do the correct decision and murmur about it? baarrrhhzz.. i dunno. i've been through this once. luckily this time the situation is not a big one.
i'm only sure of one thing--- i'm NOT NICE. i probably can strive to be. and maybe i should. let me just experiment on trying to be nice, and not being nice at all. i'll make my decision den.
other useless mundane things that happened includes gettin my new top with dydy. which i'm totally pysched .. i'm probably goin to get both barun buffale wallets.. and 2 hand bags. @.@ that would cost me lik 300 bucks.
hmm did i mention my handphone is back at samsung service centre? yepz for the crack. i'm really too destructive for my own good. i sent it back the first time barely 2 weeks when i first bought it .. and now..after only slightly over a month i had to send it back . hmm. it means only 2 things.. the phone is too fragile.. and i should be more careful. in an attempt to be just that.. i'm goin to go design sum stuff on my cover to give more value to my phone in hopes of this psycological barrier it will bring and hence make me more careful with it now.
which reminds me to ask dada to tell me why studying psycology is not a good path to go down.. coz i might want to do a double degree.. and that would be one of the areas i'm interested in.
hmm.. that's yf retreat these 2 days.
politics. i guess it makes life more fun. hur.
i found out sumthing on monday that i really really didn't noe. and you can't blame a girl for her intuition. its a bit bewildering. but hey i think its super plausible.
oh yah.. back to next weekend and organisin a badminton outing.. hmm i dunno i need to talk to my parents about it.. and rite now they are being very irritating coz they keep askin me to sign up for my courses. someone in the office is doin the same thing. so stop askin. i still need to think. i dun think i've tot enough. and i need the bloody time to think.
have i mention how i love this laptop?! for saving me from my com? yepz. just needed to re-illiterate that.
i need to change my prac date.
do i really want to fly to aus?
am i really business material?
what other things can i do?
what can i become?
do i noe what i really want?
these are the FEW but rather pressing issues bothering at the moment.
goin back to the intuition thing.. they say just become a tai tai. i'm not about to ask who the potential target is. i think i noe who they are thinkin of.
what do i think? i think the above things at the moment are more important than this.
i want to play badminton
i want to play squash
i want to play tennis
i don't mind swimming
and maybe even running
but golfing?! i'm starting to detest.
that's another stupid pressing qns i forgot to list. if i should continue on with golfing lessons. btw. its a highly technical sport that takes more concentration than any other sport i've learnt thus far. its weird ain't it? coz you are techincally using a stick to whack a stationary ball.. now how hard can that get? you don't want to noe.. esp if you are not gifted and dun have the passion for it.
btw i realised that standing up staright is a good place to start if i want to change my imagine.. so anyone of you all can come up to me and lik do that spine straightening thing... heh..
self denial= self preservation?
kickin' [22:10]
