Monday, May 14, 2007
its our first since the 2 1/2 yrs since we graduated from sc. it was nice seeing the old bunch of gals.. i was quite sad that only 2 main cliques turned up.. and lukily peiying was there with me.. felt a bit awkward.. coz pple lik orph, xiu jun, gloria didn't go.. oh wellz.
it brought back a tonne of memories.. and it was nice NOT oraganising anything for once.. although i felt guilty for not doin anything. but yeah.. the meeting kinda reminded me how secluded pioneer was from THEIR world. lik really. i dun think its was a good or a bad thing.. but it made me realise that maybe i was fortunate or unfortunate enough to be able to see the heartlander side of society.. which struck me as.. man boi aren't we just a bunch of spoilt kids. lik seriously.
but then i realised that despite being spoilt, sometimes bimbotic and bitchy, at least they were responsible to study hard to get where they were. i mean yesh they maybe oblivious to their fortunate circumstances but at least they are putting effort to keep their fortunate circumstances, and i respect them for that.
so half of the conversations were lik suprise! suprise! which courses we were attending.. things lik business and fass were hot favourites, not to mention one lawyer and one doctor in the making.. which actually thrilled me. no, seriously. it thrilled me. its scary yet comforting that pple have to make these big choices and are making them already, and the fact that i'm on the same track means i'm not far off.. i noe this might sound stupid, but when you are around these pple, the pressure is on to be someone better. lik there is a incentive to want to be better. and sadly i couldn't say that bout my jc. i mean the friends were great.. but as far as lofty ambitions go.. the bunch from pioneer are more how shall we say.. realistic.. well that's one way to put it.. or you can just say uninspired. Either way, i have come to realise that i dun regret staying in pioneer. it has led me to open my eyes. And that i won't be happy in either. i need to be somewhere in between. being able to be content with what i have, but at the same time being able to acheive a respectable standard of sorts. i guess that was my aim all along. i'm glad i've come to realise it.
so maybe going overseas now its not going to happen. so what? and maybe if i were to stay and push freaking hard i'll just make it to 2.2. so what? i should strive to be what i can be and then weigh fancy possibilites against practicality. in short. i want to be lik them but not them. lol.
i find it enlightening. wanting to be "in" and yet skirting the outside.. not being pulled into the eye of the cyclone which makes you dizzy and throws you from your centre.
another amusing realisation is to find out that gays exists lik really exists.. lol. you noe lik not gays acting gays.. but lik gays who screw with other gays and want to get married with gays kinda gays. all these from vj. okie i should be finding this more disgusting than amusing.. but still its amusing to hear that..
overall i had i wouldn't call it fun.. but was happy to meet the prudies.. just cause from the cookie cutter.. the cookies are being decorated with different kinds of icing :) *btw have i mention before that my class was an over-acheiving class? lol..
kickin' [22:50]
