a sudden surge of positive energy sweeps me off my feet. inspired, hopeful and full of gratitude.

really must thank God, for seeing me thru the last few weeks when i was really down and my health ailing.. with prayerful meditation, regular and more sleep.. i feel more energised.

its all about perspective.. the outlook is now in a nice yellowish, pink orange glow. healthy i say. yesh, though the worries are still there.. and stress abound.. i now am facing it little by little.. knowing that feeling bummed out is no use, an utter waste of energy.. thus i might as well just digest what i can and give my all with His graciousness.

Yesh i'm rather calm now.. a far cry from what was happening.. must really thank my friends around me.. encouraging me on.

celebrated mel's and per's bdae.. too bad i wasn't feeling well on Friday.. but Saturday evening was a nice laid back evening.. ((: all my friend's bdaes cluster in the march-apr and oct-nov periods.. its weird but.. ar wells

okie i'm now trying to get back on track after 10 weeks of whirlwind mess.. i knoe its hard but i'm trying my best with God's help.. everything's possible. (:

okie back to muggin.. but just before that.. here's a few pics from saturday ((:

happy 20th gal!!!


3 best babeS! per me jas



its a saturday. Saturdays are met for slacking. well at least that's my take on it is.. it feels like ages since i've been home.. so i'm quite happy being on my bed now.. yay! i don't think anyone can get me out unless they decide to see the sneaks of burn after reading..

my parents always ask how's exams. and i always answer okie when really it wasn't. i'm actually quite afriad bout the results but haix.
i've tonnes of work to do.. i've yet to fix my survey, do research and study econo

i'm currently watchin the reunion of australia's next top model.. it makes me feel childish and how some of them are so mature for a 20 yrs old..

went to kfc with some of the flaggers.. where we finally managed to dig some dirt on zhu.. lol.. that was fun..

i just got my new racket it sounds nice.. i can't wait to try it out.. its a pity i don't have badminton till friday.. okie i'm off to slack..



i'm currently slightly sad,dazed,depressed... can't seem to start muggin for my calculus mid term for tmr. i almost know that i'm going to fail it. i need help i'm hardly surviving now.

all i want to do is to curl up in bed with a nice story book.. sleep in.. be detached.. unmoving.. unfeeling.. just for awhile.

i feel quite inapt now.. appalled by my incompetency.. wondering why i'm not taking charge of my life now... mostly i'm just floating.. i guess i get like this in bouts..

last weekend was kinda fun.. managed to hang out with quite a few babes.. esp jaz and per.. we kinda went drinking on friday night with samuel for jas'z kinda bdae celebration.. den on sunday we went to intercontinental for lunch at the jasmine room. Lunch was exquisite.. and Samuel was damn nice.. footing the bill and all.. he even planned a chalet for jas yesterday.. and stole per's and my no. to invite us over.. but sadly we couldn't attend.. all the same.. HAPPY 20TH JAZ!!!

den met up with wendy on saturday.. planned to study from lik 2 but ended meeting each other at lik 5.. and at 3 .. both of us were still sleeping.. which is quite hilarious.. but at least we did managed to mug a bit.. wells.. much more then i can say for me now..

i went for badminton trials yesterday in hall.. it felt really good to play badminton again.. but sadly my racket frame imploded-again. I'm really quite sad over its demise cos i really really really liked my racket. my dad was kind enough to bring me down to queensway just now to get another one. however, i didn't get the titanium series racket.. instead got the nanotech series. i'm actally not quite satisfied.. coz the titanium series is really really really much lighter.. however, due to its less dense material the chance of it imploding is very high. yeps. as my first titanium racket can testify.. (mag and i got the same racket in sec skool and both of ours imploded after sometime.. like 3 yrs?) my recent one also lasted me for bout 3 yrs. and i figured that my dad would probably not buy me anymore rackets any time soon as i'll probably stop playin badminton competitively after this round of ihg.. so i decided to invest(its bout 150 a racket.. so it bout 6 yrs.. i spent 450 on rackets.. which is kinda expensive.. or at least to me) in a more sturdy (well lets hope it is) racket. hence the heavier nanotech. wells at least its red? the colour is kinda nicer laa.. furthermore i got an all rounded "balanced" racket.. a far cry from my usual lighter defensive racket.. almost got another with a lighter head.. but i don't knoe felt that maybe i should try another type of racket. hopefully my smashes will get better.. and that means i've to train my reflexes more.. coz my previous 2 rackets are more defensive.. okie enough on rackets.. i hope trainings and the team this yr will be as fun as the last.. i don't mind more strenuous trainings.. just well i guess it boils down to time management again..

yesterday night was kinda fruitful.. or was it morning? lol.. slept after badminton trials.. only to wake up to soggy,awful and gross macdonalds supper with some of the flaggers (mac's standard is really dropping!) but the company was great.. so that helped tonnes! den i studied from 3 to lik 530? lol.. yeps.. kinda productive till bout the last 15 mins where i could hardly keep my eyes open.. and last night was so cold.. it rained for the WHOLE night.. but at least the weather is gorgeous today.. too bad not ideal for studying.. bleughs. it really feels like a public holiday. everything's quiet and laid back.. my mind's switched off.. and it refuses to be receptive to calculus.. bleughs..

going to miss some fun activities with s26 pple this week.. but hopefully the flagger outing this saturday to queensway (to collect my racket!) will be eventful and be my adrenaline rush.. and yesh zhu.. we can eat KFC.. lol.. and go ikea again..

its about time to start muggin.. should go soon.. just watched gossip girl and grey's--- tv series.. a form of escapism.. can't find heroes ): why did i take calculus again?! HAIX



i haven't felt this stressed in a long time.. which just proves one thing.. i haven't been studying. this startling fact hit me right in the face whilst trying to complete 1 chapt of macro-econs. it really sent shivers down to realise how lost i actually am.. bleughs.. my schedule for the week includes 2 full days of play and 1 consultation with a tutor. other den dat.. i'd better be mugging my head off..

okie.. decided to post some pictures.. sent caleb off .. another one of us going overseas to study.. in the mean time i met up with the weirdly acquainted bunch of babes.. lol.. and yay we are going for sushi buffet on friday.. i'm so looking forward for tmr and friday..

stop calling me bimbo!













ate korean bbq with s26 mates! and thanks to teck yong for the ride back from ecp! lol.. do you noe that there was another outlet at haw paw villa? lol.. and we ALL live in the West.. lol



this is my floor mates.. i've rather hyper jrs.. lol.. and they are a nice bunch ((:




btw this is my flaggers ((:

although this issn't complete
let me give you one where we are all together when we went to sentosa for filming..







this is one of my fav photos of me it was taken on that fateful sentosa day.. and yay! i'm in skool uniform.. lol .. i miss wearing uniform


this is us when we went to batam..

after i fell (on my face lol).. and got my deathly lips.. lol..

and met wendy there.. coincidentally.. ((:


don't ask.. we were suppose to be "kaka men" for the mario game..

scarily.. i got freaked out.. and thankfully didn't have to go through anything.. lol
















begging for money laa... lol..


illegal immigrants.. lol
things we have to do for flag.. lol

the winnerS! YEAH!









3 buggers acting cool.. lol..




sorry i knoe that the pictures are kinda late and are not pasted properly.. but i've no time to correct it.. i need to go mug.. lol.. okie.. recapping the 3 mnths really brings back a smile.. i'm quite happy now.. not as stressed ((: yay!



i've become worrisome of late. stressful to say the least, but somehow i'm still stuck at gear 0. I'm drifting along, lost and bewildered by the bombardment of information required to be digested. i've been a daze, and worse than slow, undoing each lecture with details unsolved.

the only constant 2 things now is eating den sleeping, which appalls me greatly as homework piles up high. the fact that there is work is not as daunting compared to the realisation of i've not been understanding anything.

and yet i play, whilst my time away, with every other thing nonconstructive and insignificant. Its a wonder to find out what actually goes into my head, i would hardly disagree when one says nothing.

i'm still finding my north.. but hey at least if i'm heading south i'll still get there!

right. enough ranting, really gets me no where. moving on to other news..
congrats to zhu!!! she's choir pres! hee.. actually i feel a twinge of regret and guiltiness which i hope will come to pass.. cos i'm still trying very hard to see a bigger picture bleughs.

have i mention my modules this sem SUCkS?! apparently the easiest module i feel is macro which was the hardest last sem for most friends.. so if you stack up the difficulty levels i realised that this sem is worse than worse and have killed my cap not just once over but thrice.

let me explain.. when i currently go for my lectures.. there are only 2 lessons i understand macro and marketing. marketing has proj work.. and my group seems super laid back which issn't good when the class is super smu style.. math and econometrics are both taught in greek, the only consolation for econometrics is that i'm doing it with joy and mel. micro's in the woods and it tastes like saw dust.. and so i really don't know what i am suppose to look forward to.. ROARS!

btw i just spent 1/2 an hour on a math qns which i should known how to do.. but still don't! sighs.

its not that i want to be that phantom now.. but being that is the only way i know how to at least try to make myself study. make sense? i hope so to.



the 1st week has been slightly crazy.. and it doesn't help when i'm perpetually tired.. my bio-clock is so wrong.. that any sane person shouldn't even be awake enough to blog now..

only will this bunch of flaggers sleep at 330 only to wake up at 7am to run from kr to commonwealth sec.. that's at least 8 clicks. ar wells its all in the name of getting healthy.

i'm currently rather sad. whether its because i'm just emo-ing, feeling lost when skool has started for only a week,that my time table is slightly loner-ish or the fact that i've no occasional doses of high-ness.. i've really no idea. All i know is that i feel sucky and its really no one's fault.. just that somehow everything's not under control and slightly irk-ed by the fact that i've not settled down by now.

that's partly the reason why i'm back home now. its a monday night. should be happily staying in hall laughing with my friends and watching the freshies perform star to burst but all that seems a bit trivial and not inline to my current don't-knoe-why-i'm-so-emo-y-mood. all the same i went for cass'z and jas'z bdae celebration at sushi tei just now.. catching up with my arts og is rather refreshing as well as sad.. to think that just a yr ago.. i was so much closer to them.. hall really sucks you out of it doesn't it?

there's ibg opening tmr.. hoorah.. and to think i stayed on to experience all these.. i've really no idea wad's going on.. lost in transition? i think so too.. maybe its the sudden realization that i'm getting old.. and haven't really done anything that significant. bahhhss

jaz just sent a your blood type personality reflection thing.. its somewhat accurate.. meaning that me, an AB+ person is somewhat awkward and a nervous driver.. lol.. quite enlightening..

been running a bit.. legs feel rather tired.. its surprising to find out that nothing can get me out of this lethargic mood that i am now.. maybe its the lack of QT..

i'm looking forward to wednesday, somehow jas and per never fails to perk me up while letting me wallow in my self inflicted misery.. heh

okies should go on to sleeping .. although i said i wanted to catch up with my studies.. what nonsense. sometimes i wonder how i ever get by in life.. i need to stop going out. i need to stop swearing. but mostly.. i think i need perspective.



WAT ARH!!! WOOSH! KR FLAG TEAM ROXXX!!!
haha.. we just spent the whole morning (frm 0200) counting money, so i'm rather shag now.. although still slightly high.. heh ((:

d-blk's having captain's ball now while dear little me sits quietly in her room.. supposedly resting.. haha.. the IRONY. should really get some shut eye before close bidding starts at 1.. if not gg..

kaiz.. i'll try to at least upload pictures of my flag team soon.. i actually want to do a ppt slide or sumthing of them coz they are all just so dear and amazingly cooperative that i'm sure i'm going to miss working with these bunch of guys. seriously the word to be noted here is WORKING. don't get me wrong we had tonnes and tonnes of fun! sometimes too much.. but our dynamics as a whole flag team rocks.. individual flaws often covered by others' strengths and we managed to understand and adapt to each other's working style with little more than questioning rather than bickering. its great! and they really helped to pull me thru the horrendously long boring hull of the mundaneness of the tasks. so 3 cheers for KR FLAG TEAM! YAY!

k.. last weekend was so shagger-fied.. was suppose to go to sentosa.. but the flaggers decided that rest was more impt.. so i managed to get some rest before i met andre and darrell to watch the mummy 3 ( IT SUCKS BIG TIME DON'T WATCH IT!) haha.. other den dat.. managed to catch up abit with darrell over shopping for groceries at clementi on sunday.. and then it was back to hall for me.. and tada here i am..

i seriously can't wait for this weekend.. just want to plonk myself down in bed to sleep and hibernate before skool starts on monday.. which i think is highly impossible.. bleuuuggghhhhsss.. my eye bags sucks!

okie.. shall stop toking now.. i've no idea why i'm in a slightly high mood.. when i should be drained.. i need to take better care of my face.. andddd haha now i can go back to regular meals.. and maybe eat less (i see the countless faces snickering away.. pafths)

okie i can't wait to meet up with perr and jas.. which i would probably do next weekday.. can't wait to get some badminton in too.. and oh ya! this friday's rag day! and bejing opening.. and lots of other stuff.. busy busy busy! need to plan my schedules better! TIME MANAGMENT! YEAH!

kk's lights out for 1 1/2 hour quick.. before i die of exhaustion.. and DYdY and wendy! i still haven't gone out with either of you! it must be the wendy and jelaine cannot meet syndrome.. lalalala.. (lameness courtesy of flag 08/09 HA! )

jELaiNe
mARcH 27tH 1988
NUS

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